How To Deal With Disappointments And Frustrations In Your Married Life

Unfortunately, you can not find a school for marriage anywhere. You must learn it by experience. I learned it myself the hard way. I wonder why many couples could not make it even in a year or so? and now I know why. It is not easy to live with somebody. If there is one who said she never experienced disappointments and hurts with her spouse, she must be lying. You can never expect all happiness and sweet romance in marriage. If you are disappointed because your expectations are not meet? don't give up. You can do something to save your marriage.

Don't expect too much. Too much expectations to have a sweet and romantic moments with your spouse all the time will frustrate you. Many couples expect too much from their spouse because they based it on what they see when they are yet sweethearts. Those who are yet in a relationship, are very sweet to their partners. They are too excited to get married because of the sweetness and the cares that they experienced, Only to find out when they are already living in one roof, things get change. all the hidden will be revealed. What they expect to happen and dreamed of, never perfectly happen as they expected it to be. Expecting too much could be frustrating and disappointing if things will not turn out as what we want it to be. So, we must be prepared for changes in married life because there are new priorities that we are going to face. Very different with lovers. If a bride or groom don't expect too much from each other, then small differences will be resolved easily.

Don't compare. Comparing your situation to others make you feel worse. You would be miserable thinking of others or maybe comparing yourself to some of your friends who got married and are better off than you do. Just put it in mind that all people have problems but they come in different forms. You just don't know what your friends have been into. They have problems of their own too, different from yours. The nature of their problems and the situations they are in, you really don't know in detail. They maybe look happy and loving but you don't know that they are struggling. Just bear in mind that all problems have solutions. Think of the solution not the problem. Make it a point not to compare your situation to others.

Avoid self pity. Self pity is a destructive attitude. Be positive, don't put yourself down. Turn it into a positive way if ever your mate forget something that he/she usually does. Just maintain your nice poise, don;t be upset or cater a bad mood because of it. For me, I don't like to think it in a negative way and pity myself. there might be some problems that need my assistance. I have to give room for consideration and understanding to avoid self pity. Think of yourself less. Being nice and cooperative is a good plus to overcome this feeling.

Focus on the good attitude of your mate. Sometimes we focus on the negative side. This is the reason why many are in trouble all the time. Weaknesses is a part of human life. No body can do perfect things at all times. If you will focus on the good things your mate has, It will make a big difference in your relationship. You have your weakness too, Think about it and give a big room for consideration. For me, I think of myself as somebody who needs to improve a lot in many ways and I am thankful that my husband have patience in me. Although he has his own negatives I made consideration and understanding because he accepted also mine. With this, instead of dwelling on my disappointment and frustrations because of his attitude, I focus my thinking on all the good things he has done for me. I understand his bad mood, I prefer to keep quiet and it helps a lot.

Have self control. Our temperaments really do matter a lot. If we don't exercise self control, it can destroy our relationship. If something goes wrong which normally does happen, it is always rewarding to stay calm. Control yourself in saying negative comments, blaming or raising your voice. Even if it's really hard to stay calm when hard situations arise, try to save yourself from having emotional stress. Too much negative reactions will result to disappointment and frustrations.

Acceptance. Accept your situation but do something to improve it. Think of ways to fight against disappointing situations. Have positive attitude that you can really make a difference if you will accept things as they are and make better changes. Don't give up when you are in a hard situation. Think of ways on how to get away with it. Always say this to yourself, . "I can improve my situation, I can do it".

Get Rid of your own bad habits/ change yourself instead of changing your mate. That's right? the reason we are disappointed and frustrated is because of our own bad habits. We want our wishes to be granted and our desires to be followed by our mate all the time, then we get frustrated when they won't give in. We want to change them by displaying some unpleasant attitude just to let them realize that things will be a lot better if they will follow what we want. If we can change ourselves instead of changing our mate, then frustrations and disappointments will be out of our way.

Life is what we make it and our married life also is what we make it. If we will do a lot of hard work to make our marriage work, then the reward is ours.