How to Deal with a Disruptive Ex-Boyfriend or Ex-Girlfriend

Breaking up with someone is never an easy thing to do, but sometimes it can be problematic weeks after your break-up. If your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend is having trouble "letting go" and moving on, I suggest the following tips. Of course, if he or she is abusive or acting violently, contact the police-this is an article about exes who are simply being "annoying" more than anything else.

Ask them not to contact you

Explain that you will contact them if you need anything (such as your CD collection) back from them, but that short of that they should not contact you via email, Facebook, phone, or any other method. Make this point clear and unambiguous-the relationship is over and you need the time and distance to become independent again.

Don't provide answers when they ask if you are dating

When an ex asks about your dating life, feel free to tell them you are dating if you feel like it, but do not feel compelled to update them on your personal life-it is no longer any of their business, and an ex can have no "claim" or "say" over what you do with your life now, or who you choose to see. It is important to make this point clear as well or you may find your ex slowly creeping back into your life, quietly usurping power and judging your actions. You do not need this!

Do get your keys back

Even if your ex is respectful and never shows up unannounced, it is symbolically important to get the keys to your apartment back-plus, you don't want to worry about them walking in on you when you are with someone else. If you suspect they have made copies of your keys, also call a locksmith and have the locks replaced (this isn't too expensive and is often well worth the peace of mind that comes as a result).

Don't be tempted to text them late at night

Even if you are bored or have downed a few drinks at the bar with your buddies, do not be tempted to text your ex-doing so makes you "fair game" for long, rude responses or future phone calls. If you have asked to cease all contact with them, you need to honor this commitment as well. If you aren't sure if you can do this, I suggest deleting his or her phone number from your phone so you will never be tempted to contact them.

If necessary, sever ties on Facebook and MySpace

If you are friends with an ex on social networking sites such as Facebook or MySpace, you may want to "de-friend" them (go to the privacy settings tab on Facebook) so that they will not be privy to information about your personal life, who else you may be dating now, and recently tagged photos of you.

Published by David S

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