How to Deal with a Diva Boss

A reader asked: My boss is highly qualified and she knows it. What's more, her bosses know she knows it and treat her with kid gloves. They make special allowances for her and cave to nearly every demand she makes. Outsiders might think her bosses are her employees. Further, she is quite patronizing to me and my entire team. Most of us are ready to jump ship. Before I take that leap, however, are there any ways that can help me deal with a boss who thinks she's a diva?

ANSWER: Yes and no. There are a few steps you can take to help address her behavior. Unfortunately, none of them will help you "deal" with her being a diva.

The source. Since the issue is with your direct supervisor, it may be a good idea to discuss her leadership style with her directly. She may not even be aware of how she's perceived. When you talk to her, you might want to discuss how her actions and words negatively impact team morale. When providing a behavior evaluation to someone up the ladder from you, it's usually a good idea to use the "sandwich technique:" begin by praising her accomplishments and knowledge, then offer specific opportunities for improvement (encouragingly phrased), then end with another short round of praise. Using this technique will stroke her ego while offering advice.

HR. If talking directly to your supervisor doesn't work, you may want to take it up with your HR department. Explain your discomfort and provide specific quotes and actions. Also explain your reactions (and those of others). When talking to HR, you will have a higher chance at satisfaction if you remain calm and be objective. Some have made the mistake of complaining endlessly, which only tears away their credibility. Keep in mind that you may not be the first to bring your supervisor's actions to them.

Go over her head. If you don't want to quit and you've spoken with her and HR, then take your issues over her head. Her bosses may be as tired having her under them as you are with her above you. Keep in mind, though, that taking it higher in the food chain could haunt you; her bosses may tell her you've voiced your displeasure and she could make your work life even more difficult. Since (from what you wrote) she treats them like her employees, they may actually take your professionally voiced complaints to heart and discuss the matter with her.

Jump ship. If you have addressed it with your supervisor, HR and upper management and still have not achieved satisfaction, then look for other employment opportunities.

IN A NUTSHELL: Address your supervisor's diva-like behavior by talking with her directly, then HR, then her bosses and, if all else fails, look for another job.

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