How to Deal with Everyone Else's Opinion About Your Unemployment

Recently, economists reported the recession ended last July 2009. Despite this positive forecast, people still continue to either lose their jobs at large rates, or become part of the underemployed population settling for jobs that pay wages substantially less than their qualifications just to meet the minimums on their bills, after being unemployed for a prolonged period of time.

Some psychologists suggest unemployment can cause depression and damage to self-esteem, because society often evaluates self-worth based on net worth and job possession. When people loss their jobs, they can lose a sense of self-worth and self-identity, not to mention suffer from a negative stigmatization from those who do hold jobs.

In a utopia, the opinions of others would be meaningless. However, certain politicians provide examples of evidence that the opinions of others do matter in fact, especially in a society where some politicians find it necessary to eliminate and reduce unemployment benefits at time when people need them the most.

A common misconception about the unemployed is that they are people who spend all day sitting on a couch collecting unemployment or welfare checks, or consuming large quantities of beer, because they choose not to work out of laziness. While this stereotype may apply to some individuals, it fails to adequately reflect the situation for the majority of the people who are unemployed, especially those facing home foreclosures.

In reality, unemployment tests a person's emotional stamina and emotional endurance. A person's level of optimism during unemployment can wax and wane with the response or lack of response towards each job application and each job rejection. Unfortunately, people lucky enough to have jobs tend to overlook this aspect of unemployment.

Sometimes, they may patronize an unemployed person suggesting that volunteering helps with unemployment. Nonetheless, volunteering fails to yield the income necessary to continue to pay bills, and there is no guarantee that volunteer work eventually will yield a job offer.

Without careful monitoring and censorship of the amount of time devoted towards considering the opinions of well-meaning friends and associates, today's job seekers can experience the gradual erosion of their optimism, self-esteem, and self-worth through feeling obligated to explain prolonged unemployment. In addition, familial relationships can face emotional straining, when family members behave insensitively towards the experience of an unemployed person.

The best tactic for dealing with outside opinions including those of your family members is to prepare a set of vague responses that send a message for people to avoid asking you certain questions, or to keep their opinions to themselves. Your responses do not have to be rude, but simply polite, honest, and direct.

If people ask what you're doing, tell them that you're handling business, because you are. The act of searching for a job and networking is business. Even the IRS permits tax deductions for expenses related to job searches.

Despite having established a set of generic responses for questions pertaining to unemployment, you may encounter overly inquisitive people or people who refuse to accept vague answers. In these instances, use the following methods: repeat vague answers; visit the restroom; or inform the individual that you are unable discuss what you are doing at this time because it is private information, but that you were delighted to run into them. This tactic helps to divert attention or to resist a potential inner need for unnecessary self-validation.

If you have had to move in with your parents, be sure to complete chores and other household tasks, such as cleaning dishes or keeping the refrigerator stocked with orange juice and other groceries. After all, housekeeping and housecleaning are professional jobs that would normally yield wages, if these tasks were performed for non-family members.

At the end of the day, remember that no one is owed an an explanation of your employment situation. The opinion of yourself and your value is the only opinion that matters and you may do whatever is necessary to shield yourself from others imposing their opinions upon you, or from you allowing your inner critic to get the best of you.

Unemployment is temporary. Money can always be made, even if it does not appear that way at the moment. Protect your self- worth in the meantime.

Sources:

John Sumser. "Dealing with Unemployment Depression," glassdoor.com blog.

Sera Redmonds. "Depression Due to Unemployment - A Glance," EzineArticles.com.