How to Deal with Failure in Youth Ministry

To my fellow Youth Workers:
I've read the books (click here, here, and here) for a list of books I deem essential to any youth minister in any capacity. I've seen different models at work . There are some great models doing some great ministry out there. So what happens when you implement some great ideas from these models and they seem to fall flat? What happens when you invest time and energy into a plan that gains no steam and flops out in less time than it takes you to get the students to quiet down (ok, so it may last a little while)?

I've implemented ideas that did not pan out; that did not meet expectations, and in hindsight were not right for my ministry. How do you implement the right ideas given your respective target audience, and have the timing right?
We didn't go to school to be behavorial predictors! We went to school or volunteered to hang out with students because we want to connect with them and be available to them, to impart truth and love on them. We're not the ministry equivalent to economic predictors (by the way, they have failed miserably at times as well).

More importantly, how do we deal as human beings, as followers of the Way, when failure strikes?

If you think you're going to get the magic answer or formula by reading below, you may as well quit reading now. If you want to engage in honest dialogue and thought, then this post is for you.

Failing in ministry is similar to what you would think of as a mid-life crisis. It shakes the core of your identity, you have this unshakable feeling of panic and brief terror, like the world is crashing down, and yet are expected to perform your daily duties, to keep plugging away, and of course reverse the monumental failure that you just created. If you think I am exaggerating or making too much of it, then either you aren't in a place where the burden falls on you, or you don't have a strong conviction and vision for what you are doing, or you are far enough into ministry, and experienced these times, and perhaps have forgotten about the sharp edges that dig in when the failure is fresh and the wound is open.

For me, failure of a program in ministry is still fresh, and still looms large in the not-to-distant future. I feel nervous and apprehensive. I feel a burden on me that I can't shake. My desire is to connect students to Jesus and authentic relationships with adults and fellow peers. I work with a majority of unchristian students who don't attend a church, only my youth minsitry. So my ministry looks and feels a lot different than a traditional youth ministry, and I am constantly experimenting ways to reach these students where they are at; to show them a Jesus that is relevant and more real than they imagined.

All that to say, in the area I am working in, I am constantly forging new ground, and consequently, rubbing shoulders with failure quite often. Here are a few nuggets of wisdom that I have picked up along the way; this is both to help you and to remind me as a new season of ministry begins, that ministry is about relationships, not about programs (programs are simply the platform to develop relationships).

- Students are either forgiving or forgetful. A few of my ideas have flopped, and a few weeks later, it was as if that idea was never implemented in the student's eyes.

- Failure always seems bigger than it actually is. Take a moment to gain perspective of that game or lesson that completely flopped. One lesson out of 32. If I was good at math, I would put that in a percentage. Trust me, it's miniscule. (Unless of course, it's moral failure on a personal level. That's some big stuff).

-Failure must always be a learning experience. Consider failure like that mean, nasty teacher that you hated but the lessons always stuck. You don't have to like flops, but you need to respect and learn from it.

There's a ton more I could say, but I would love to hear some nuggets of wisdom you've picked up from failure.
The bottom line is this:
DO NOT LET FAILURE SHAKE YOUR IDENTITY.

God rescued you the way you were. God loves you the way you are. He wants you to go out to communicate and display that. No matter what program flops, whether it is a huge outreach event, perhaps a small group program flopped, or your teaching just sucked that week. Get honest with God about it, learn from it, and then move on.

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