How to Deal with Family During the Holidays

The holidays are a time when family comes together, but unfortunately this "togetherness" can be cause for conflict. Everybody has at least one relative who is just plain annoying. Maybe he's a brother who always outshines you; maybe she's an aunt who just won't stop nagging. Family disagreements commonly begin during holiday gatherings, and if left unresolved can continue for years. To keep from getting yourself involved in a lifetime feud, follow these three approaches to keeping calm and being fair with your disagreeable family this and every holiday season:

Relaxation/Meditation: It may seem obvious that the best way to not fight with your relatives is to simply let their rude remarks go, but its not so easy after days spent with hurtful relations. To keep cool under the pressure of a nagging, bragging, or downright mean relative, try meditation and relaxation strategies. Counting to yourself, focusing on a certain detail in the room, even subtly changing the subject can give your relatives a chance to shut up. By not engaging in arguments, your relatives will soon get the message that you're not interested in their petty issues, and might even act more politely at future gatherings.

Perseverance: Sure, you might have annoying relatives, but just imagine all the people who have no relatives to complain and care about. Appreciate your relatives for who they are, not for what they say and do, and you'll be on your way to persevering through the holidays. Keep in mind that you won't be stuck with your relatives for more than a few days, and tell yourself that you're a stronger person than they because you refuse to fight. By just thinking about persevering through the holidays without hurting your relatives' feelings, you'll realize how nice a holiday without conflict can be. While there is usually tension of some sort at holiday gatherings, there doesn't always have to be disagreement.

Fair Fighting: If you simply can't make it through the holidays without arguing with your relatives, at least fight fairly to resolve your issues. Some fair-fighting tactics include clear, honest communication, taking turns at speaking, refraining from personally insulting your opponent, and eventual compromise and resolution with your enemy. By fighting fairly, you'll be able to argue issues, solve problems, and forget the conflicts instead of dragging them on endlessly.

It's a fact: everybody fights with relatives now and then, and the holidays bring conflicts as well as people together. This holiday season, just use relaxation, perseverance, and fair fighting to have a pleasant family holiday experience. You'll come out of your holidays refreshed and ready for the new year, instead of stressed and dreading future family gatherings. Happy Holidays!