How to Deal with Guilt

You stand at his grave side in tears and tell him you're sorry that you never told him you love him. Maybe it would have been easier to tell him if he had said he loved you more often. I feel so bad that I'm not able to forgive some of the people who have hurt me. We are supposed to forgive everyone, aren't we?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

I should have been a better parent to my children. I know I tried the best I could, but I could have done better. My children deserve better.

I knew a man once who had four children. One day he drove to the store, had a car accident and ended up in wheelchair. He felt guilty every day of his life. His children had to push his wheelchair whenever they went out in public, and he could always sense a feeling of shame in his children whenever they had friends over.

This is a man who had been through so much, and was completely not at fault for his situation, yet he carried guilt every day about his children. It is amazing how hard we can be on ourselves.

I should have done more with my life. I should have accomplished more. I could have been a great author, I could have been a movie star or even a successful business owner, but instead, I work this lousy menial job.

Should I have tried more? Did Marilyn Monroe's success help her? What about Judy Garland? Did Elvis Presley's fame stop his descent into sadness? Success comes in many forms.

We all carry guilt. It's human to feel guilty, but it's wrong to dwell on it and drown yourself in it. It drains your energy and makes you useless to yourself and others. We as people normally do our best in our lives, and how do you know that if someone else were put in your situation they would have actually done worse than you?

The worse case of guilt that I ever witnessed was a married couple from England who were really into the sport of skydiving. One day they decided to allow their young daughter to sky dive alone. She was thirteen years old, and had never jumped. They gave her many hours of lessons. When the day finally came, she had been given so many lessons that she could probably have done it in her sleep.

The parents waited on the ground. There was no way the jump could go wrong. The young girl had a reserve chute and was very well trained. She jumped out of the plane at the moment she was instructed, and then the young girl just froze in midair. She went into a panic and couldn't think. The helpless parents screamed as they watched their daughter fall to the ground. The young girl was too young to handle the intensity of a sport such as skydiving.

Since the incident, laws have been passed to ban under age people from skydiving thanks to the parents of the girl lobbying to get the law passed. The young girl died, but did these parents allow guilt to destroy them? No, they gave their daughter's death a purpose. These people used this incident to change laws.

However, no matter how much they accomplish, they'll carry the guilt of their child's death to their graves. Their extended families may harbor tremendous resentment and anger towards them. All of us need to let go of our anger and guilt.

Guilt is a form of anger at one's own self. We must learn to let it go. Forgiveness is not a request.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14,15)