How to Deal with a Holiday Breakup

Lisa Riggs
The holiday season is by far the worst time of year to endure a breakup. The season is filled with a great expectation of joy and romance. It can also be very difficult to keep up with all the added tasks of the Christmas season as well as fulfill social obligations while nursing a broken heart. Here are some suggestions on how you can not only survive a breakup over the holidays, but actually experience some joy and peace at the same time.

Don't Let the Holidays Break Your Resolve. If you are in a dead end relationship, or worse, one that causes you a great amount of suffering, don't be swayed by the sentimentality of the season. If your heart is telling you that the relationship has been over for quite some time, don't muddle through the holidays just to spare the feelings of someone else. Your situation will still be the same come the second of January, only you will have that much more conflict and sadness to deal with. If you were on the receiving end of the breakup, accept the fact that it is over. Don't initiate contact with your ex simply because you don't want to be alone this time of year. Remind yourself every day of all the reasons why the relationship wasn't working.

Maintain your Holiday Traditions. You may not believe that you can make it through your sister's Christmas Eve party with all the happy couples in attendance, but it is very important that you attend this function and all the others. Go with your parents to cut down the family Christmas tree and get together with your neighbors for the annual cookie exchange. Go through the motions of all those familiar holiday traditions though they may be the last things you feel like doing. As difficult as it may be at times, those activities will distract you from obsessing over your breakup and offer a bit of comfort.

Start Some New Holiday Traditions. If you and your ex always put the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving, spend the day shopping instead. If Christmas Day found you both lounging in your pajamas until the evening, gather a group of friends to go to a late afternoon movie. Did he insist on cooking a turkey for your holiday dinner? Make a ham instead. Infuse the holidays with new and different traditions that you can carry on next year. The change in routine will lessen the intensity of your holiday memories of your ex.

Splurge on a Holiday Gift for Yourself. Use the money you would have spent on your former partner's holiday present to spoil yourself this year. Buy that big screen television you have had your eye on or treat yourself to a day of beauty at a local salon. As long as you can comfortably afford it, a little retail therapy can be very helpful at lessening the pain of a holiday breakup.

Spend Time Around Children. The joy of children around the holidays is infectious. Spending quality time with all the children in your life will surely go a long way towards healing your broken heart.

Volunteer at a Local Charity. Giving to others in need during the holidays can help to soothe your soul. Walk the dogs at the animal shelter, assemble holiday food baskets at the food bank or offer to give makeovers to the residents of a woman's shelter. Use your special skills or passions to help you decide which charity or non profit organization to donate time to this year. Stepping outside your own life and focusing on the needs of others will surely help you to count your blessings and be thankful for all that you have, instead of what you have lost.

Published by Lisa Riggs

Happily married mom of two wonderful girls.  View profile

1 Comments

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  • Charlotte Kuchinsky12/6/2010

    Hope I never have to do that.

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