How to Deal with a Loss

How does one deal with a loss? Losing a loved one can be a very painful experience. There are time when not only others, but we also think that we should grieve like everyone else. By conditioning, we sometimes think that grieving is gender specific and it's not. There is no right or wrong way to grieve no matter what gender you are, because everyone grieves differently and it is such a personal thing! We grieve when there is loss of a pet, a friend or family member moves far away, an accident (on the job accident, car accident and the like), end of a relationship, loss of a family member or a loved one, when someone you love becomes seriously ill, when there is a financial loss, and so on.

When dealing with a loss, one may feel some degree of shock, disbelief, possibly denial that this has happened at all, then an emotional release (anger, crying), depression, a need to confront of the issue at hand, and acceptance (not necessarily in that order). More importantly, there is also a deep need to feel normal again; to go back to the way things were and to really feel alive. However, in the end one thing that you will come to realize, is that what you need to do is be patient with yourself and to give yourself time (time to cope and time to heal).

When grieving it's important to understand that there is no right or wrong way or time limit to grieve.

One of the most important pieces of advice I believe I have ever been given, is to not hold my emotions in. It doesn't matter if you're male or female; we all do it to some degree. I have since tried to be honest about how I feel about a situation or circumstance, which can be quite freeing.

It's important to share your feelings or connect with others when grieving. Although it's easier for some to do than others, I truly believe that it's a very important part of the process. Try to connect with others whom you feel might understand; talk about the situation, even if you are not ready to talk about your feelings; talk and try to connect with others.

There may be periods of blame depending on the circumstance or even rationalizing of the situation or event. More so, you may feel disconnected, as a result, just allow yourself to go through the motions.

Cry, cry, and cry some more. It doesn't matter when or how, but it is very important to cry. There is also a health benefit to crying, because your body also releases chemicals (toxic chemicals) that are bad for you through your tears. So it's not just an emotional release, but also a chemical release.

No matter what you are going through; get support. Whether it is group support, a counselor, support of a friend or family member, it's important to seek or embrace the support given or available to you.

If you have a religious faith or following, turn to your religious faith or belief for comfort and support. For some, their faith might deepen at this time and for others the opposite may be true. There may seem to be many unanswered questions, however, try not to change your daily routine too much. Try to maintain some degree of normalcy if you can. Prayer and/or meditation are also great options for those who do have a faith based belief.

Try to turn your grief into something positive. Make an effort to help those who have had a similar experience. This is a very good coping method, because you will not only help others, but you will find that it is quite therapeutic.