How to Deal with a Loved One with Depression

It takes a special type of person to live with someone who has clinical depression. Frequent mood swings are common, as are frequent outbursts of anger. You have to have patience and develop a very thick skin. I myself not only deal with manic depression, but have a 15 year old daughter that suffers from it.

I have taken it upon myself to be the caretaker of the house which isn't always the easiest job in the world, and lets face it the benefits are not always that great, however I am with the people I love and stand behind 100%.

This is not written as a feel sorry for me article, but as one to help others that live with someone that suffers from this condition. One of the best ways I have found to help deal with it is try to just ride along until the mood passes. I know it is not always easy, in the end however it does help it pass much faster. Arguing and fighting during a downswing prolongs it. Try to find something constructive to do during this time. I find that being in another room cleaning or doing something to get out of the direct line of fire works best. I do at times find myself wanting to and sometimes do yell back or say something I do not mean out of anger. It is natural. The hardest thing to do is sit back while you are being yelled at, or being accused of something you had no part in. That is part of a downswing; the person lashes out at the closest available person. Often times saying a lot of things they don't mean, just their way of getting the feelings they are having out.

Its much easier to deal with upswings, generally these can be prolonged by letting the person you are with that you do support and love them no matter what happens. Also making sure that you do everything you can during this time to make the surroundings comfortable and distressful. You never know what will set off a downswing. Sometimes nothing at all will trigger it no matter how distressful the surroundings are.

One of the things I have also found helpful is keeping in mind the person you are dealing with can not control these feelings, often times they themselves do not know what is causing them to feel the way that they do. When I for instance ask my daughter what she is angry about she tells me she does not know. Trying to get to the bottom of these feelings often times creates more stress for the person having them as they themselves cannot answer that question. Once she calms down we try to discuss what is going on in her mind and her answer usually remains the same. She tells me that she does not know why she was angry she just was. Sometimes she can pinpoint the reason behind her feelings and we can calmly discuss them. Whenever I see her start to get agitated, we will change the subject.

Getting her interested in other activities will sometimes help as well. For instance we will make jewelry together, or just go for a walk. We don't usually talk much during these times but it does seem to help her.

I do hope this helps other people dealing with someone in their lives that deal with depression and or mood swings. Taking a step back or just a time out does help you look at things from a different perspective. And coming from experience believe me when I say you can get through it. I say the Serenity prayer at least a dozen times a day, it does help to calm me down and help me deal with what's going on in the home. It doesn't have to be world war 3. Just find the things that help your loved one get through the mood swings and the things that help you keep your sanity.