How to Deal with Personal Stress and Tragedy in Emergency Services

I remember this night as if it were last night - I was at home and a call toned out over the pager: "23-year-old male, cardiac arrest, CPR being initiated". The address seemed familiar to me at the time, so I called in and was told that the ambulance was already rolling and to respond to another station as stand-by personnel in case another call comes in. I soon lfet my house and started rolling towards the station when the ambulance flew by on the main road I was about to turn on, followed by a police officer right behind them. Coincidentally the way in which they were traveling was the same way I had to go to get to the station, so I followed until they turned onto a side road... a side road in which one of my close friends lived. All of the clues were starting to piece together, but it hadn't fully clicked yet as there were plenty of houses on that street.

Once I got to the station I waited and scanned in for my point, dispersed, and started to make my way home. When I got to that street where the ambulance had initially turned I saw lights towards the end of the road so I traveled down that way to see where they were located. My stomach sinking every second as I got closer and closer to my friends house. I crept up towards the house in my car, police and ES-17, our new ambulance, emitting an intense glow of a mixture of elaborate lights. I knew at this point that my friend was in trouble, but I hesitated to go to the door. After some deep thought and contemplation I parked my car and walked towards a police officer's car. The car containing an officer doing paperwork looked up as I knocked lightly on his door, his window slightly open,"Excuse me, can you tell me what happened here?". The officer looked at me and replied,"No, I'm sorry". I nodded and made my way towards the door, my heart feeling as if it were six feet under.

The door, a door I was so familiar with. My friend had a great family, and every time I came into their house I was greeted by a picture on their front door stating "Never Forget - 9/11", picturing firefighters and a silhouette of the broken Twin Towers.

I knocked at that familiar door and peeked inside to be greeted by an emotionally mixed Uncle barrelling down the stairwell. "Who are you?!" exclaimed the uncle, whom I had only met once or twice in passing. I took a deep gulp. I said the only thing I thought would be smart to say at that point in time,"I'm with the fire department". A look of relief consumed his face. "I'm also one of his friends. Is he ok?" He put his arm around me and took me outside. "He's gone" he said, the words echoing in my head as my heart plummeted into an abyss of sadness.

That's how I learned about one of my closest friends passing. I think daily "What if?". What if I had called him that day to hang out? Would he still be here? Could our good times still be a good times of the present rather than just of the past? It haunts me daily, but this is the life in which we live in. We must overcome our daily obstacles, even if they are reminiscent of the past. This also took a toll on me as I could have been one of the emergency workers inside of their house. What if I was in there when they started doing CPR and trying to do different procedures? I don't think I could handle it.

Firefighters and other emergency personnel deal with tragedy on a daily basis, but rarely does it strike close to home. That's when it turns into tragedy.

I've seen a video of a firefighter at a working fire. Apparently there was a firefighter mayday call - it was his brother. He went erratic and tried to pummel his way into the building, but he had to be held back by officers and other firefighters. Another situation where tragedy has struck close to the heart.

The point of this article isn't to state tragedy that has struck me, or evidence I've seen of such stress - it's to tell how to cope with such stress and tragedy.

Get Close With Your Second Family
I consider my friends at the fire department a second family, and that's the way it should be. We all deal with the same situations and the same problems when it comes to the fire service, so who else would know best as to how to deal with such tragedy than them? No one, really.

There are programs out there for emergency personnel to do, and I suggest speaking to one of your line officers if such treatment is needed. For more mild cases I suggest merely talking to other peers about your problems. A true friend in the fire service is willing to listen, and maybe even share experiences of their own.

Psychological Therapy
In more extreme cases psychotherapy may be necessary to get past such tragedy. If you believe that you need such treatment contact one of your line officers and tell them what's going on with you, what happened, and what you're feeling.

Take Time For Yourself
During a time of tragedy it's not necessary to alter your whole life completely, but finding a healthy hobby to consume your mind and time will help take the angst off of your mind. Calling out of work may be good at this point in time, as it may affect your work, but don't prolong it as work can adequately take your mind off of tragedy after some cool down time.

Mourn
Mourning, although it may sound depressing, is completely natural. Letting out your emotions rather than bottling them up over time us much healthier. Also, being in the mourning stage with other friends allow you to be reliant on each other's emotions, making it easier over time to cope with the tragedy.

Take It All Into Perspective
If someone you love has passed on you must take it into perspective that this is life, and that all living things pass on over time - it's the natural circle of life. If their passing was due to some sort of accident keep in mind that it wasn't your fault, and that they're now in a better place free from any harm.

The Do Nots
There are some things that people do to cope with tragedy that is negative and may have adverse effects on them.
-Do not use any drugs to cope with the mental pain. This, of course, includes alcohol. Using drugs to cover of pain may make you become dependent and addicted.
-Do not get angry (to the best of your ability) and take it out on other people. This will only push loved ones away, which is the exact opposite you want to do at this point in time.
-Do not fail to help professional help if needed. The longer you wait, the worse things may get. Get help as soon as possible if you feel it's necessary.
-Do not call out to work excessively. You need your job, and although they'll understand if you want off some time, don't overdo it and get your life off it's tracks. Plus, work may help you keep your mind off of a certain tragedy.
-Do not emotionally barricade yourself - tell others what you're feeling so they know why you may be acting in such a different manner.

Ending Note
Sadly there was a minor scare at my house. My mother, whom I love dearly got sick one night. It was my department that responded (obviously). None of the volunteers were there, but two of our first responders and a police officer responded. I helped get my mother onto the stretcher, and the first responders were very helpful and respectful. Later that week I talked to them and told them how I felt, making me feel much better.

If you're responding to a members house, whether it's for them or a family member, remember to be respectful and caring, as it may be your house in which they respond to next time.