How to Deal: You're Best Friend is Gay

MY EXPERIENCE
John and I first met in Kindergarten. This was back in 1989, 18 years ago. He will say that I threw a block at his head, but I couldn't tell you if I did or not, not that it's all that important. We became really close friends and of course, our parents decided that it would be "oh so cute" if we ended up getting married. Every parent's dream... It was just a few weeks into first grade when my parents decided to move and I ended up changing schools. A few years passed and I found myself in sixth grade and smack dab in the middle of a beginning band class. Mr. Wright called attendance for the first day as the students talked amongst themselves with what elementary friends they had were there. I was listening for my name and, as always, he called me "gill-ee-an"... WRONG! Listening to the rest of the names I heard "John Smith"... and I thought to myself that I was losing it. When he answered, I looked back to see who answered to that name and the face looked familiar. I got enough guts to talk to him during class and ask him about the past. We both thought that we were who we were. Just to make sure, I took my kindergarten class picture to school the next day, and it was confirmed... BEST FRIENDS TOGETHER AGAIN! It was like nothing had changed! A couple of years went by again and we remained best friends. We even "went out" for a while. Once high school started, things started to change between us. He dated other girls and I dated other guys. We were still friends, but something was different. During this time, John had started to act weird, a little more feminine than he used to. As his friend, I thought nothing of it. A lot of people joked that he was gay and he would always deny it. During summer school before our senior year, another friend of ours and I would joke with John about him being gay and he still denied it, but not as much. I didn't want him to be gay, but he did act like it. There was a running joke that John would come out of the closet before he turned 21. Summer school ended and life went on as usual. Soon after, I was IMing with John when out of no where he says that he has something to tell me. I thought nothing of it. When he IMed the words, "I'm gay", it truly broke my heart. There was something deep down inside that thought in the end, we would be together because I loved him. This is not something I've ever told anyone before and it's hard to put it into words. John and I are still friends to this day, even 18 years later. He was the "man" of honor at my wedding. He was there for me the day I kicked my husband out and he was there for the birth of my children. I couldn't imagine life without him

HOW TO DEAL
Based on what I've learned from personal experience, when you have a friend or even a family member that confesses their homosexuality to you, it is important to have an open mind whether you approve of their lifestyle choices or not. If they are coming to you with their secret, it means that they trust you and that your acceptance means a lot to them. Remember, it is their life and while you have a right to your opinion, it may not be the best that you let it be known right away. If I would have gone on my first thoughts, John and I may not be friends today and his friendship is more valuable to me than the people he decides to date. I accepted the fact that it is life and he can do what he wishes. It is important that he remains a part of my life. If you have questions such as "Why?" or "How?" remember to keep your cool, otherwise you could push them away and in my opinion, a good friend is more valuable than their weight in gold.