How Do You Deal with a Stepford Wife, If You Are a Lousy One?

My married life began happily. My husband believed that I will make a great wife and so did I. I had seen so many movies where the any job the wife ever does is look pretty and be available. I believed with my heart and soul that to be a good wife that is all you ever need. So I entered married life without knowing how to cook, clean or manage money.

Troubles began when a Stepford wife entered our life as a friend. She is married to my husband's closet friend. Ms. Perfect, as she likes to be called, knows everything. From cooking, to keeping the house spotless. My husband who had learned to ignore my shortcomings, found a new lease of life when he visited them. He saw a clean house, had a great meal and came back home expecting the same. I was in trouble.

First I tried to ignore my husband, and let things be the way they are. It didn't work. Then I tried the crying game, no chance. The guilt game also failed. I had to learn cooking and all that stuff.

But sadly it didn't end there. After I learned to cook a "cooked not burnt" meal, Ms. Perfect invites me to a dinner and shows off her skills. My husband is impressed, but I am far to depressed to remember what happened next.

After the dinner, I went home and decided NEVER!! I am not going to her place again.

It has been seven days since that day. I am still haunted by perfect meals and her recipe ideas. I am a lousy wife but to tell you truth I am not that bad. I mean, there is no mould in my home, we don't have roaches and there are no spiders running around. Just some harmless dust (securely placed under the couch) and bit of grease on the kitchen floor. I mean isn't that normal?

I don't know how you can be so perfect? Isn't that against the law..? Perfection is some kind if disease. Look, you are perfect you throw every one out of business. The maids, the restaurants, the baby sitters, everyone. You destroy the whole economy. Why would anyone want to be perfect is beyond me.

Anyway, my life as a lousy wife is going great, as I have managed to escape from the shadows of the Stepford wife. If you are like me, I ask you to turn the tide in favor of us; the not so perfect house wives do not submit to the idea of being a perfect wife. Love yourself the way you are.

P.S: I wrote this after a heavy dose of partying. I am not liable if you life goes haywire.