How to Deal with and Ultimately Improve Yourself After a Bad Breakup

At some point, we've all dealth with a bad break up. The thing about love failed is that it doesn't discriminate. No one is too good, too successful, or too pretty to be affected by a break up. It's a hard part of life, and there is definitely no denying it, a failed relationship can have leave a devastating impression on your heart and your mind if you let it. You don't want to feel the pain, but really, that pain can potentially one day be a great part of your life, if you take advantage of the hurt you've been inflicted.

Cry. It's natural, and there's nothing wrong with it. If anything, it can feel good to release some of that pain, and really feel what has happened.

Surround yourself with close friends. Having someone to talk to, who can understand what you are going through and who has been through it before, can be a major factor in your steps on the road of recovery. They're the first ones to come to your aid, and ultimately will stick by you through every continuing step.

Act as amicably as possible. Though it may be difficult at times, the best thing that you can do is refrain from using harsh words or actions when dealing with your ex. Look at it this way, you went into the relationship as friends, and if handled the right way, a lot of times you can come out of it in the same way. Of course it will take time and lots of patience, but when it's all said and done, you'll be a happier person if you're able to maintain a friendship, rather than storing hatred and pain in your heart towards him or her. Avoid keeping tabs on your ex, as this is very likely to bring about things that you don't want to discover, and in most cases only prolong your hurt, therefore slowing the healing process.

Reflect. Think back on times, experiences, feelings, and mistakes that occured during your relationship. Often times, the person you date can reflect your own personality. If you put forth the time to reflect upon your relationships, you have a huge opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't, not only for yourself, but in future partners as well. It is important to learn what really makes you happy, and run with it. You're given many opportunities to learn and grow from every experience that life throws at you, and with every lesson learned, is a step towards true happiness.

Write. I've found that one of the best ways to get out what is truly on your mind and in your heart is to sit down with paper and pen, and just write what comes to mind. Not only will you be able to express and release yourself, but here again is an opportunity to reflect. Not everyone is going to be able to understand exactly what you're dealing with, as a break up affects each person differently. Writing down what's in your heart gives you a release of the troubles and thoughts, and as each day passes by, you can reflect over the feelings you've written and start to notice a pattern in healing. Each day gets a little bit easier, and this way, you're more able to notice exactly how you've grown, and what you've learned from the whole tragic ordeal.

Keep busy. It's easy to sit around, or curl up in bed, and dwell upon what's happened, but by finding activities to keep yourself busy, such as crafts or cleaning, you're going to help yourself through this process and shorten the healing time. The less you dwell on the break up, the faster you're going to be able to close the wound. I'm not saying this will drastically change the way you see the situation, but it will help considerably.

Breathe. This is probably the most important step I can advise. Remember what you still have, the people who still and always will care about you, and keep in mind that though it can be a dark long tunnel, you will reach the end of it, and when you do, you're going to come out a much stronger and wiser person than you were when you entered, and even more than when you entered into the relationship. Each break up we experience molds and changes us, until we are able to fully understand and accept what it is that we want and deserve in our lives. Bad things have happened, and it's a very difficult process, but when you remember to breathe you realize that sometimes, when life throws bad experiences at you, you are capable and strong enough to one day understand that it was life's way of getting rid of what wasn't working for you. You now have the opportunity to rebuild. Decide what it is that you want and long for out of your life, and make that happen.