How to Develop & Maintain a Positive Attitude when Chronically Ill

When you are chronically ill, it can be very difficult to have a positive attitude. When you are sick the last thing on your mind is being happy. But in order to cope and to get through life with a chronic illness, you need to develop a healthy emotional mindset.

There are usually five stages that chronically ill people go through:

Denial and fear. People are reluctant to believe that they really have a chronic illness and they will feel very alone. They search frantically for answers and do a lot of website searches on their particular illness.

Anger. Patients will feel angry because their lives are totally going to change. They will feel anger towards their physician, "Why didn't he/she diagnose me sooner?" They will also feel anger towards their family members and friends because they can't understand what the patient is going through.

Bargaining. Patients will try to bargain with God, "If you take away my illness, I will be a better person". They feel as though they are being punished for something they did in their lives.

Depression. Because of the dramatic changes that come with being chronically ill, depression is a symptom experienced by all of these patients at some point. They may feel hopeless about their situation, wondering how they are going to spend the rest of their lives this way. Most people can move beyond this stage without becoming suicidal. There are those who become severely depressed and need additional medications and therapy. If you or anyone you know is severely depressed, please consult a physician immediately.

Acceptance. Patients will move into this stage realizing that life is what it is, they have to live with their illness and they search for ways to improve their lives. They may become passionate to where they start a website, support group, or lobby for more government funding for their illness. As someone who is chronically ill, I have found that I will move through these phases at different times throughout my life. As flares of my illnesses (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia) take over my body, I will go through the stages again but I always get to Stage 5 quickly. It is because I have learned how to live and to function as a chronically ill person.

One way that I have done that is to develop a healthy emotional attitude toward my illnesses and life. I have come to terms with that what is happening to me is not fair, but it is what it is. I have to accept it and try to live my life to the fullest regardless. I can't physically do the things that I once could, but I am still alive. I have a great family and loved ones who understand what I deal with and I feel that I am very blessed.

If you are at the beginning stages of the process, you may feel that you will never get to Stage 5, but there are ways to get through the process and to feel better about yourself.

Journal

I found journaling to be a great help in keeping a positive attitude. By writing down my feelings, symptoms and daily life I have been able to have an emotional release that is necessary. Having an emotional outlet, especially in the beginning stages of your illness, is so important because so much is going through your mind. If you can write it all down, you will feel better.

If you like to type or like to be on the Internet, start a blog or website about your illness. Not only will you help yourself, you can help others in the process.

Gratitude Journal

Once I started a journal, I also found that it was helpful to write down what I was grateful for each day. There would be days where I would be bedridden and couldn't do anything, but I would write that I was grateful to have woken up that morning. Look for the good side in a bad situation. Be thankful that you have a husband or wife to wake up to, children to wake up to, clothes to put on your back; whatever you can think of to turn a negative into a positive.

Read

Read positive, uplifting books. I read a lot of self-help books that deal with how to become a better person and how to deal with life in general. Some great books that I have read to get me through slumps include:

Life Strategies by Dr. Phil McGraw

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

The Gift by Shad Helmstetter

The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson

When I find that depression is starting to set in, I go pick up a book that will lift my spirits. It works every time for me.

Support Groups

There are many support groups online for chronic illnesses. What is great about support groups is that you can talk to people who are going through exactly the same thing as you are. It's very difficult for family and friends to understand your illness, especially in the beginning stages, and you need to talk to someone who you can relate to. Also by joining a support group you will realize that you are not alone and that there are many others just like you.

Search for local support groups in your hometown that meet once a week or once a month. You can either search online or in your local newspaper for meeting dates and times.

If there are no local support groups or online support groups for your particular illness, start your own!

Focus On What You Can Do

Once you become chronically ill, there will be many activities that you may have to give up. It can be easy to only think of the things that you can't no longer do. What I found was that if I focused on what I could still do I felt much better about myself.

Even if you can't no longer work 40 hours a week, or job 10 miles a day like you used to, look for ways to still do the same activities but on reduced levels.

Focusing on the positive in life instead of the negative can only prove powerful for your emotional and physical health.