How to Die in a Horror Movie

There are many guides and tips on how to survive a horror movie. These may make it seem simple that you can survive a horror movie with a little logic. However, it is equally easy to die in a horror movie using no rational logic. Here's how.

When you're being chased by a killer, run upstairs. Run up as many flights of stairs as possible, in fact. You will eventually be cornered - you can't leave a room because the killer is blocking your exit, and you're now much too high to jump out of a window.

If you've just attacked your horror movie killer/intruder, make one of two fatal mistakes. One: run away thinking you've killed him (don't check to see if they're dead), only to find out later he was merely stunned for a few minutes. Two: you check a little too carefully to see if they're dead. Get extremely close to them; they are likely stunned or temporarily unconscious and will wake up just in time to grab you.

If your pet, especially a dog, suddenly freaks out for no apparent reason, ignore it. They are furiously barking or acting in some other agitated way because they have sensed an intruder or supernatural presence. No big deal.

If you are being chased in a horror movie and have a choice between running away from woods or into woods, definitely run into woods. The low branches, shrubs and protruding roots will trip you up sooner or later.

Teenagers in horror movies can die quickly by having sex. Especially if they are hanging out with a group of friends in an abandoned house or summer camp near a lake. Some horror movie killers love to wait until just after, then wham!

If you're being chased or threatened by zombies, but refuse to believe they are actually risen dead, this classic mistake will get you killed. These creatures must be human, and not supernatural in any way, so fill them full of bullets haphazardly and you're good. Don't worry about shooting them in the head. Then stare at them, stunned, wondering why the five bullets in their stomach have done nothing.

If you're in a house alone, and receive threatening phone calls, don't call the cops right away like a normal person would. After eight or ten phone calls, then freak out about it. It'll be too late because the creep calling you is already in the house or on property.

When hanging out with friends, say something like "Wouldn't being eaten alive be a horrible way to die?" Poetic justice will be served and you'll probably die in the manner you described.

If you want a shortcut for your road trip, and you're in the middle of nowhere, take directions from a stranger. Preferably a very shady character. If you stop at the only gas station for many miles, you're at the mercy of the person who runs it. If they point out a shortcut that isn't on a map, definitely take it. You may end up driving straight into their homicidal trap. Wouldn't that be fun?

Lastly, pick up a hitch hiker. The stranger, the better. Being in a locked car with a psychopath is the best possible scenario. Especially late at night or on a highway with little, if any, traffic. Witnesses will only slow down the process.

As easy as it can be to survive a horror movie, it's just as easy to die in one. Horror movie characters seal their fates with these actions many times. You can probably recall several scenes/movies for each mistake.