How to Make a Difficult Decision

Difficult decisions can become so insurmountable that they become paralyzing. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you make a mistake? What if you hurt someone in the process?

There are ways to overcome your own indecision and put the wheels in motion. Start with a few simple steps to relieve the tension and brain-lock you feel and make a choice.

Trust Your Gut

What did your gut tell you when the problem first came into view? Think back to that time and try to recapture the emotional memory you felt. Over time, your common sense and even your heart may override that gut feeling. Remember that the gut doesn't usually tell you why something isn't right, it only alerts you to how you truly feel about something.

Even the decision that makes sense on paper may be the decision that leaves your gut screaming "No!" Listen to your gut before your head and heart start the tug-of-war over what they want.

Make A Pro's and Con's List

Lists can be beneficial in seeing all your options laid out in front of you side by side. You may also realize that some of the points on the Pro list don't seem that all important to you after all. Maybe "More Income" is on the Pro list, but "Moving Away From Family Indefinitely" is on the Con. You may find the Con is far more important than the Pro. Or you may realize what's on the Con list isn't so bad after all. You may decide something like moving away from family will afford more independence and career opportunities than if you stay in your hometown.

Talk It Out

Pick an impartial party who you trust to just listen and help you sort out your thoughts. You will find a greater sense of clarity and understanding of your decision as you form together your thoughts out loud. As your friend or therapist validates your feelings, you will find yourself feeling more confident and in control of the decision.

Clear Your Head

I decided to quit my last job from a steam room on my birthday while waiting for a massage. My defenses were down and I was totally relaxed. It was one of the best decision I've ever made. Treat yourself to a movie, read a book, go on a long walk, or get out of town for a few days and get away from the decision. Your mind needs to take a break from all the logistics and scenarios you've provided it.

Worst Case Scenario

Don't get too caught up in playing the Worst Case Scenario game, but it can be helpful to escape brain lock. Imagine the worst thing that could happen with your decision. In almost all cases, it isn't really that bad after all. You know what the worst is, now you can face it head on. And it's highly unlikely you will ever face that reality anyway. Why? Because you know what your fear is, how to avoid it, and what to do to ensure your life stays on track.

Forget Right or Wrong

There is actually rarely a Right or Wrong decision. There is only a decision. What you do with it is what counts. We often want to know for absolute certainty if something is going to be right for us. But when something is absolutely and clearly right for us, we don't struggle with that decision. We just make it.

Most difficult decisions are simply a result of a fork in the road. So decide how those forks will treat you. What do you want your life to look like? How do you want to feel in that life? What resources will be available to you? What challenges and joys will be waiting for you?

Act and See Change

Refusing to decide is also deciding. You're deciding to stay stagnant and not do anything. You're deciding to prolong the decision or problem at hand. What most people forget is that when you act, the wheels start to churn. Things start to fall into place. You see what next steps you need to take. You feel more motivated and refreshed. Stop re-evaluating and re-thinking what you already know to be true. Make the decision.