How to Disagree with Your Children

Everyone has their own opinion, but different generations have their own set of rules. What you were taught as a child is now thought of as "old school."

As your children grow older they're influenced by their peers and the latest fades. Everything they once believed before is now thrown out the door; and here is where the problem begins.

Learn to Discuss

When disagreements arrive, keep in mind that this is just a "discussion" of opinions. Try to keep the discussion on that level. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, so respect your young adult's opinion. Discuss all of the options of each opinion, and weigh the odds of the outcome.

Try to keep this discussion done on a monetary level, try not to use an authoritarian figure. Any time there is a disagreement, you must keep in mind that it all got started by opinions being stated. This is not the end of the world. This is just an opinion at this moment, more than likely it'll change again by tomorrow. Don't take everything too serious, you're just talking.

Think Before You Speak

Try to keep your ego out of the discussion, and don't let the discussion change into an argument. Everything goes out the door when you argue, end of discussion. This is the point where most problems start in a discussion, when people let their ego's do all of the talking. After you've discussed something for a while, let it go. Don't keep bringing the subject up, drop it. If you keep going over and over the same discussion, it only fuels the fire.

Keep in mind that usually when someone argues over their opinion, they're probably just as unsure of their opinion as you are. That's how the discussion got started in the first place. Try to be open minded and "Non judgmental." This is the biggie. I'm not sure if anyone can do it, but at least give it a try.

Accept Different Opinions

Try not to create a debate when you find you have conflicting ideas. Don't argue over different opinions, this usually goes nowhere. Let them enjoy the choice they made and just see what the outcome is. If it was a good decision congratulate them, this builds confidence. If it was a bad decision don't rub it in their face.

Remember, this is all a learning experience, and your young adult hasn't acquired the wisdom you have for every situation. More times than not your child will come back with a different opinion later and another discussion will begin all over again. This is what the cycle of life is all about.

Life is full of people with different opinions, and that's part of why we're here. Just remember what you taught your children still lies deep inside of them, and will also be taught to your grandchildren. Your children are just trying to understand the "big picture" like you.