How to Discuss Rape and "Being Touched" to Your Seven to Nine Year Old

If you are a parent, you probably try to shelter your child. What do you do when your child asks about rape? What should you tell them? Do you want your child to be aware of the bad in the world? Sometimes awareness can protect your child. Arm your child with as much knowledge as possible.

You can only imagine my distress when my daughter asked me why someone said she was raped. I try to keep her sheltered from everything including the news. Somehow, I failed. I could not fathom where she would have heard about such an awful catastrophe. My initial reaction was shock and despair. I actually told her not to worry about what that word meant; I would explain it when she was older. As soon as that came out of my mouth, I could have kicked myself. Every child needs to know what that means and that people should not touch them. "Oh boy," was my only thought. Then, I waited a few minutes to compose myself and went to talk to her.

Always make sure you have your child's attention when discussing important matters. Turn the television off and take away the wii. Let them know you are there to talk to them and you want them to pay attention so they understand.

Let them ask you questions. Always respond with age appropriate answers. Tell them the truth. You do not want them learning about rape or touch from someone else. Be as open and honest as you can and try to find answers to the questions you do not know.

The best way to start a conversation about rape and people touching others where they are not supposed to touch is to wait until you are asked about it. You should tell your children before they enter school about where people should and should not touch them. Then, as your child gets older the word "rape" should be introduced.

Make sure the child knows what rape means. Younger children have a tendency to use new words without truly knowing the meaning of the word. You would not want your child going to school saying you raped them because you touched their leg while getting their zipper unstuck. You also probably hug your child or give them a high five when they do something good. They may think of rape as a hug. Be sure to teach the meaning of the word rape and verify your child's knowledge of it.

Touching of private areas should be discussed with your child from the time they are potty trained, almost. As soon as your child is old enough to distinguish right and wrong, and where private parts are, you begin telling them not to let anyone touch them there. Some children will say someone touched them because that person bumped into their hip or bottom. You need to make sure your child can differentiate. It's up to us to protect our children as best as we can. When they are not in our sight, they need to know what is okay and what is not.