How to Divide the Household Chores

The second most overall disagreement in marriage today behind money is the argument over the household chores. The idea that household chores are only designated for the wife is one of the most chauvinistic ideas on the planet.

Maybe this comes from the notion that men marry to be provided for just like their mothers treated them in the past. Are most of the women in America only used for their superior cleaning capabilities, or can men actually do some of these chores also?

"A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done." Oh how true this sentiment really is. Most men think that housework chores are for the woman to do. From time to time you "might" see a man vacuum or do the dishes, but this is usually a rare sight. Why is this the norm?

Having lived with a wife for 26 years with a bad back due to several car accidents I've become quite sufficient when it comes to most chores around the house; although my wife usually prefers to do the laundry herself, at least the folding procedure.

Living in a two party relationship means that "all" of the duties around the house should at least be shared somewhat equally. Although some couples do exist in two separate periods of time, the household chores should still be equally shared between the two of them.

Keeping the home tidy is not a job that people are breaking down the doors to apply for, so most of the duties in the home are usually left up to the wife. When this situation happens on a regular basis stress begins to plague the unhappy mind. Now a part of the foundation in the marriage is beginning to sink.

Young married couples often have disagreements over exactly whose job it is to: cook the meals, do the dirty dishes, complete the shopping list, or do some routine maintenance around the home. These are just a few of the responsibilities of the home, which doesn't include cleaning up after children when they enter the marriage.

In some cases men believe that cleaning up around the home is an un-manly chore to be done. I believe that consideration for the spouse is slowly being lost or taken for granted. Are we taking advantage of our mates, or are we just being lazy? This is where the emotional rub begins.

Children can help sometimes with small chores in the home, but don't count on this help on any consistent basis. Usually just cleaning up after themselves is a small miracle in itself. So, how do we get our spouse to at least help with the household chores without disrupting the entire family?

The ability to discuss with your spouse exactly what your cleaning priorities are is a good place to start. Find out which chores each partner hates to do, and which activities they actually don't mind.

Maybe your spouse doesn't mind doing the vacuuming while you do the dishes. And possibly you don't mind cutting the grass while he does the laundry. Although these are unlikely scenarios you get the picture.

Another solution is to schedule a cleaning day. Sit down and discuss which chores are best suited for each individual along with their likes and dislikes. Don't continue to nag your spouse when the chore is past due, just remind them in a non-threatening manner. Treat them the same way which you would like to be treated.

When cleaning day arrives try and knock it out in a good natured manner. Take breaks from time to time and look at your process as you go through the cleaning. Learn to work as a team and make it a fun day of cleaning and also good exercise.

In the beginning of the marriage post a cleaning schedule on your refrigerator. Now every time you visit the fridge you see a reminder of your duties. Usually if the relationship is grounded this list won't be needed very long as doing the chores will hopefully become a habit.

Most of the woman's stress levels in a marriage are brought on by muti-tasking all of the duties herself. Marriage is business partnership in many ways; a business of running the home. This business agreement includes all of the fore mentioned duties of the household. When the business end of the marriage is kept, the personal side of the marriage seems to run much smoother.

In an MSNBC survey it was reported that 74% of men replied that chores were shared, while 51% of the women stated that chores were being shared in the home. Mutual respect in a marriage is very important to your spouse's emotional outlook; so do your part for the one you love.

In 2007 married couples stated that most of them agreed that sharing household duties was more important to them than sharing religious beliefs or raising children. Wow, that's saying quite a lot!

Statistics show that most couples who share employment and household duties are less likely to divorce than those where the husband does the earning, while the wife does all of the cleaning.

The growing trend these days is the ever growing man of the house. Some men are great at running the home very efficiently, and derive great pride and pleasure in keeping the home tidy and spotless. I'd like to see the odds on that one.

So, is it actually worth ending a relationship just because we'd rather watch TV and eat cookies then do a few loads of laundry? The cookies and the television will always be there when we get done, and so will the laundry. Sorry I have to cut this one short because the dirty dishes are waiting for me. I believe that's one of my jobs.