How to Divide Possessions After the Death of a Loved One Without a Family Feud
Sometimes this can be easily divided between members of the family. This is rare. Once there is a death, it seems that everyone is coming in trying to see what they can get from the estate. The oldest child sometimes will try to pull rank, and say since they are the oldest they should choose first leaving the youngest with leftovers. There are some ways that you can divide the items without having a huge fight. It still will be very painful but this is the way that it worked for us in my family.
Since there were 3 of us we could of spent days fighting over one object. It would have been easy for us to fight about things and be angry over things for years to come. But instead we made a plan that may just work in your family. We decided what we wanted, and placed stickers on that item. If there was only one name on that item, it was easy to know who then took possession of that item. If there were more than one name on it, we knew that we would have to hold a raffle for that item. Yes, we kind of made a game out of it. But it really wasn't a game, it was serious to keep peace with the family while trying to dispose of the loved ones possessions.
For the objects that had more than one name on, we each got a quarter with a different state logo on it. We thought that since the quarters all weighed the same it would be better than writing it on a piece of paper, with the quarters no one could say the other cheated. We placed all the quarters in a container and then shook the container and the new owner of that object was decided that way. What ever dropped out of the container was meant to be. Oh it was painful to lose the thing that you wanted the most, but we made a rule that the 'quarter decision' was final.
While many people thought that this was a crazy idea, it really actually worked well for us. Things got divided and there are no bitter feelings between us now. With the quarters you have 50 you can choose from, so there will be enough for everyone to get their own personal quarter and since they all are identical in weights and size, no one can say it wasn't fair if their quarter doesn't come out of the container.
Published by Sunshine Red
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3 Comments
Post a CommentInteresting idea. Unfortunately, my family isn't as civil...glad it worked for you though.
Interesting idea! Glad it worked for you. You're right; even the most civil families can be torn apart by dividing possessions. Some people become vultures.
Very reasonable, well thought out plan! And it kept the peace! What could be better? Thanks for a great idea.