How Donuts Saved the Planet Earth

Herbert Walker was sitting down to watch the required amount of Cheneyvision. Having just finished his government supplied supplement pills.

He was perplexed. Yesterday while cleaning the bathroom he has come across some journals. They were in a hollowed out section, behind the toilet, under a loose tile. They were written in 2001 to 2045 by his great-grandfather, William Jefferson.

What an odd name. In the olden days, before there was one government and one language, parents named their children whatever they wanted. Life had become so much easier now. You had the choice of George or Herbert or Walker or Bush for the male first name and the same for the surname. Women could be Laura or Barbara. They took whatever their husband's surname was. He hadn't been appointed a spouse yet. He kind of hoped it was a girl. Not that he had anything against a man it was just he had heard women were different as spouses. They were hard to come by though, back in 2075 a doctor had discovered a way to produce only male children, his technique had been used so much that women had almost become extinct. Women had gotten as far as the endangered category before the government had realized what was going on.

There was a war being fought in the early 21^st Century. There were references to all kinds of civil disobedience. Homosexuality was frowned upon. The environment was all-important.

Good thing the World Leader George Herbert Jose Bush came to power. No more wars, the environment was all but taken care of with the dome cities. He had heard the usual urban legends about people still living outside the domes but wasn't sure if they were true or not. You would have to be crazy to do that, living in the elements, one hundred fifty degrees Fahrenheit in the summer and one hundred twenty below in the winter. No thank you. The reprocessed air in the dome was far better than the CFC polluted air outside. He would have like to have seen grass. It was in all the history books but it wasn't that important.

He was more than slightly curious about the donuts mentioned in the journal. There were directions for making them but he had no way to get the supplies. The government had developed the supplement pills, so there was no need for food. What a benefit it was to be able to utilize the space always reserved in a house for the kitchen. He had put another Cheneyvision in it.

He spent the rest of the night reading the journal. Careful to look at the Cheneyvision screen every couple of seconds. He knew the government television producers monitored the eye contact screen. It was great the way the government looked after its people. Making sure every program was being watched. If you stopped watching without hitting the restroom button a producer would show up at your house within hours to find out if something was wrong. He didn't want to cause anyone undo stress.

The Cheneyvison had just clicked off for the night. It automatically signaled bedtime. Another way the government looked out for its people. Turning off the Cheneyvision at 10pm and the electricity at 10:30pm. It assured that people got enough sleep, eight full hours until the wake up call at 6:30am. Everyone got an allotted fifteen-minute shower then out the door and at work by 7.

A note fell out of the journal. Unfolding it. It looked like some sort of treasure map. Best if he left it for tomorrow. He had to make the bathroom call before the lights went out.

He put the journal back under the loose tile. No sense getting anyone worried if the FBI pulled an impromptu inspection while he was at work tomorrow.

The journal was on his mind the next day at work. His government assigned work detail was making electronic, computers, radios and Cheneyvisions. He sometimes wondered whom the computers and radios were for. No one was allowed to have them. The government felt that if would just upset people to hear news or be able to get on the Internet. He knew there were cities outside the domes but he never wanted to see them. The government didn't allow it anyway. They wanted to keep their people safe. The World Government was the only government as far as he was concerned. It stretched all across North and South America. One long dome. His history teacher in school said there were other continents but he didn't know if he believed it. The other civilization conspiracy theory held just as much weight as the mythical God theory. Everyone knew that was a lie. The first George Bush had proven he was the only God. His descendants had ruled the world since then.

The Cheneyvision was on, as usual, when he got home.

He got out the book and map. The map showed an underground bunker of sorts. It gave directions how to get there through and opening deep within the closet. There were the supplies and equipment to make donuts. He got so caught up in reading the book he forgot to take his supplement pill. Nervously he looked at the clock it was after 8. Too late to take it now. The directions clearly state to fall asleep by 10:30 the pill shouldn't be taken after 7. He had never missed his pill before and was a little apprehensive about negative side effects.

The journal also gave directions for supplies to reach the tunnel. A flashlight was hidden further under the bathroom tile.

Sitting and thinking. What should he do?

At 10pm, when the Cheneyvision went off, he went to his scheduled restroom break. Instead of putting the journal back he dug further and found the flashlight. He took the flashlight and the journal and lay down on his bed.

When the lights went off he went to the closet. Careful not to let the light be seen he didn't turn on the flashlight until he was in the closet with the door closed. There were several false walls to get past until he finally found the tunnel.

Steps led to darkness. He shined the flashlight down the stairs but didn't see anything except more steps.

Cautiously he descended the stairs his back against the wall.

He had gone about 30 feet when the stairs ended he entered a large room. He shined the light around. The room was littered with journals, like the one he found, and lamps. Lamps were on tables and the floor, everywhere he saw. The government had done away with lamps years ago, long before he was born, they were bad for the eyes, he had only seen pictures of them.

One of the lamps turned on when he walked by it. And then another and another until the room was basked in bright light.

In one of the corners he saw a huge, old cryogenic machine. He walked over to it. It was making a humming noise. He pressed the red button. The top of the machine opened up. There was a note referring to the journal he was still clutching. The note indicated this was the donut making supplies. Along with some coffee and milk from a cow.

Carefully he followed the directions. Thawing the dough and heating up oil in an old fashioned Fry Daddy machine. He had made the mistake of touching the oil inside the Fry Daddy. Yelping in pain he looked at his finger. It was turning red and stung badly.

While he was getting the oil to the right temperature he rolled out and cut the donuts. He didn't understand why there was a hole in the middle.

Dumping the donuts in the oil they started to crackle and pop. The smell was incredible. Like nothing he had ever known before.

His bit into a donut. He almost forgot to chew it had been so long since he used his teeth for anything besides brushing. His head felt fuzzy and his knees went weak. His taste buds came alive. He took a drink of cold cow's milk. He could feel the liquid go down his throat to his stomach, settling there.

He woke up the next morning on the floor of the room. He remembered eating the whole batch of donuts and drinking a whole container of milk. He didn't feel the effects of the hard floor. He wanted more donuts. He wanted to share the donuts with his friends from work. He wanted his future spouse to know the pleasure of donuts.

He didn't understand why the government had done away with donuts and cow's milk. How could something that tastes this good be bad for you?

Maybe he could open up a donut shop. The World Leader would surely approve it. And if not maybe he would just do it anyway.

He decided not to go to work today. He was going to stay home and make donuts. Lots of donuts. He would invite his friends and acquaintances from work over to his house for coffee and donuts. And if the FBI showed up and tried to make them stop...well that would be just too damn bad. Hey maybe they would want some donuts too.