How Earning a Million Dollars on Associated Content Could Mean the Apocalypse

Today I decided I should bite the bullet and finally become a millionaire solely off of writing Associated Content articles. As I've written nearly 2 dozen articles to date, I figured I was pretty close to realizing my dream of becoming a millionairess. I immediately started shopping around for a foreclosure in New York City, as apartments here cost much more than a measly million bucks.

Then I realized something interesting while I was doing the math to see how many articles I need to write. I average around $4 per brilliant article. Sometimes the upfront pay is much higher, and sometimes it's lower, but on average it's about $4. I also currently have a 100% success rate of publishing for up-front payments. Well, actually, there was 1 that got rejected on my first week as an AC writer, as I didn't realize they don't pay for website reviews. It's a stain on my record.

In any case, back to my plight of becoming an AC millionaire superstar. If I want to make my cool million on up-front payments alone, I would need 250,000 articles at an average of $4 a pop. Broken down over a 12 month period, that's only about 20,833.3333 each month. That's it! And seriously, I can do that. (Disclaimer: I don't fair well with math, so do your own calculations instead of taking my word for it and start amassing your own Associated Content fortune with just 20,833.3333 articles per month).

Just in case that proves tedious and I run out of article ideas, I wondered how many total page views I would need to hit my projected $1 million mark. Figuring that AC pays $1.50 per thousand page views, factoring in my million dollar mark, and making my husband do the math because I couldn't figure it out, I would need about 666,666,666.667 total page views.

I was surprised to see how many triple sequential series of 6's would be representative in earning my coveted fortune. Of course, I was immediately concerned about my fellow AC members. When you writers log in and see my impressive triple 6 stats as a featured member on the right hand column, you might launch into violent convulsions. It would seem inevitable my $1 million fortune would spawn the apocalypse and the world would end as we currently know it. And that doesn't really seem fair in exhange for my own personal gain.

This leaves me in a dilemma, friends, as I was really counting on that money to retire and live the good life as the fledgling travel writer that I am. (I use a pen name here to protect my award-winning identity). Instead, I'm wondering if I could just try to amass around $750,000 in article revenue and donate the other $250,000 I could have earned to the good of the universe? I'd only need about 500,000,000 page views instead of causing that dreaded 6 number. And to my limited math knowledge, my new financial mark could never really hurt anyone.