How to Make and Eat a Really Good PB&J

• Pick you favorite peanut butter (jif's creamy)
• Pick you favorite jelly (bama apple)
• Grab two slices of your favorite bread (Store Brand Wheat)
• You'll also need a spoon and a plate (a soup spoon works best)
• A glass with two cubes of Ice
• Whole Milk

1. Spread your bread like wings on the plate.
2. Grab your shiny soup spoon and with the back of your spoon dip it into the peanut-butter and then lift. Creamy peanut butter is much easier to do this with than the crunchy kind, but use whichever kind you prefer.
3. With your free hand pick up one slice of bread and starting in the middle spread the peanut butter out. This helps prevent tearing. Make sure you cover every edge and every corner.
4. Put the bread down.
5. Before the next step you have the choice to wipe your spoon clean or dip it facing up into the jelly jar.
6. To help prevent tearing of the bread you must mix the jelly in the jar until it becomes soft and spreadable.
7. Once it has become spreadable dip some out onto your second slice of bread.
8. When you are done, assemble your slices of bread so that they evenly match.
9. Grab a sharp bread knife and again starting from the middle cut down to the first corner, turn the plate and cut down to the opposite corner.
10. Poor yourself a full glass of milk and then pick up your preferred slice.
11. Stand precisely where you were when preparing your PB&J and hungrily bite down into the bottom corner of your PB&J as you stare into your kitchen wall.
12. Continue on until just before you are done with the second slice. Drink all your milk and then pour yourself another half glass.
13. Finish off your second slice and your milk.
14. Stand there for a few moments.
15. Feel the food go down, smile then do a little twirl.