How to Effectively Deal with Your Partner Lying

Discovering that your partner has been dishonest is always a heart wrenching wake-up call to reality.

I wish I could tell you I have a way to collectively abolish the pain. I wish I could tell you, in an instant, that my little piece of advice will forever protect your intimate, most vulnerable emotions.

Nonetheless, I can tell you that what I am about to share with you has instituted confirmed ameliorations in my relationships.

However, beware!

Take my advice only if your partner has been known to lie on occasions; compulsive or pathological liars are an entirely different circuit of emotional strain and one I wish not to exert at the moment.

1. Evaluate the possible reasons for lying.

Before you confront your partner, I advise you to take some time to evaluate the possible reasons to why he or she turned to deception. Was dishonesty the ammunition to consciously hurt you or was it a defense mechanism to prevent apprehensible pain? Take yourself down your partner's road of concealment. In order to avoid an escalating argument with no results, it is vital to take time to understand the behavior. In most circumstances, the intentions will not be totally clear to you, but by taking the road less traveled and attempting to see things from your partner's point of view, you will prepare yourself for a more productive discussion.

2. Address the causal issue.

The majority of people are under the impression that asking a hundred questions per hour will increase their chances of catching their partner in a lie; the same people believe their drilling method will more likely lead to an autonomic confession.

Conversely, neither is true. The optimum way to approach the deceptive behavior is by radically addressing the underlying issue that caused the deception to occur in the first place.

Ask yourself, "Why does my partner feel the need to lie to me about this specific topic"? Were there unequivocal circumstances in the past where you improperly and immoderately reacted to the same or similar issue? Have you set unrealistic expectations? While lying is never an excusable behavior, in most cases, you will find that you are partially to blame for the deceptive demeanor. Relationships that are founded on candor and sincerity are addressed with love, respect and courtesy, even during the most challenging times. Your partner needs to know that his or her mistakes do not define the relationship and that you, as a couple, will have enough strength and courage to undertake the succeeding challenges.

As a result, staying calm and tentatively discussing the underlying issue - instead of focusing on the deception - produces the most desirable outcome. Practice empathy, strive for understanding, and don't deviate from the issue by turning to defamation such as character assassination.

By practicing the approach discussed above, your partner will presumptively elevate toward honesty in the future. Resorting to deception will no longer be necessary because the relationship will acquire a new level of dexterity. In the end, it comes down to knowing that your reaction to the truth will not be so negatively administered, thus prompting your partner to escape similar confrontations in the future.