How to Effectively Punish Teenagers

Parenting a teenager is not always easy. There are days when your relationship may seem perfect. Then there are days when you think your "darling child" has been replaced by an alien substitute and is out of control. Expect these days to happen, be prepared when they do, and make sure you keep control of the situation. You are the parent, therefore your rules are the law, and they must follow them.

Even if you have a good teenager, they will still usually do something against the rules that merits some sort of punishment. The way you handle your teenager will affect how often they continue to break the rules and how they will learn to respect your rules. In order to gain respect, you must treat them with respect first.

Sit down together with no distractions such as the television, radio, or phones and have a real conversation about what you two expect from each other. Let your teenager know how you expect him or her to behave. Ask your teenager what expectations he or she has from you and let your teenager speak. Make this a loving conversation where both of you can speak freely and you'll find that your teen will tell you what you need to know.

Just because your teenager may want a higher allowance, doesn't mean you automatically have to give it. Explain the family budget and how what they are asking for can't be adjusted. Show them your budget on paper and show what bills you owe and where the income goes. This is an important lesson that helps them understand budgeting and makes them feel included on what is going on with the family finances. It also helps build trust between the two of you because you're treating them like an adult.

When you're laying down rules, tell your teen the consequences of breaking those rules. You must stick to your consequences and follow through with them or your teen will continue to break the rules. The consequences must be something that affects their lives in someway or your child won't take you seriously. Taking away their cell phone, internet usage, television time, video game time, and social time is a great way to get their attention that you mean business when it comes to following the rules.

Most teenagers believe they know everything and can do anything they want. This aspect of being a teen must be understood by parents that this is how teens are, but you don't have to give in to this behavior. An important lesson that teenagers need to understand and be reminded of regularly is that they are still minors. According to the law, the parent is still responsible for the teenager and the minor is not allowed to do certain things. Even though the parent is responsible, minors can get in as much trouble with the law as adults do.

Research your local laws about juvenile delinquency and go over them with your teen. Explain the consequences of not following the laws of your town and how they can end up in jail. Talk about what it's like to be in jail and how they don't want to go that route.

Talk to your teenager constantly. Let them know you love them and if they don't follow your rules that you're not punishing them because you hate them, but because you love them and want the best for them. Remind them that if they respect you, you will respect them.

Tell your teen about building trust. Explain that trust means you believe they are doing what they tell you they are doing and will return home at the designated hour or do what is expected of them. Tell your teen that if you can't trust them to be home at a certain time, behave themselves at school functions such as football games or dances, then you will never be able to trust them for the big events. Big events are spring break trips, spending the night with friends, going on dates, and traveling out of town with friends.

Show your side of the relationship. Tell your teen that you don't expect them to accept your side, but you just want them to know where you're coming from. Let them know that you want to raise a very well-behaved young person who needs to learn right from wrong and consequences and rewards of their behavior.

When your teen does follow the rules by coming home on time or doing what he or she agreed to do, dole out a reward. Even if it's taking them out for their favorite fast food meal, letting them have an extra hour on the weekend to stay up or letting them have a friend over, you won't regret it. Rewarding your teen will result in constant effort from your teen to please you in order to get more rewards.

There are a few things you want to keep in mind when handling your teen in explosive situations. First you need to know that yelling does no good. Yelling at your teen yields no results or respect. When your teenager starts yelling at you, then you can tell them to go to their room until they calm down. Once they want to talk like civil people then you will be willing to talk to them. Stick to this rule and the yelling will slowly cease.

Parenting a teenager isn't always easy and sometimes it requires a lot of flexibility from the parent. Don't be flexible in your rules, just in the way you handle your child's erratic and abnormal behavior. Be sure to spend some time thinking about one thing: you were a teenager once, too, and you had grand ideas about how parents should be. Return back to your adult state and see your teen as a teenage version of you. This will help keep the animosity low and the understanding high. The more respect that is shared between the two of you, the stronger your relationship will be as your teenager grows into adulthood.