How to Effectively Resolve Comflict

1. Stick to one topic at a time. Address one issue, wait for the other person to agree, then move on to the next issue. If you say everything you have to say at once, some of your good points will get lost amidst the other stuff.

2. Keep your sentences simple and easy to understand. Most conflict starts because people are unclear in their communication before hand, so don't make the same mistakes when you're trying to fix the previous mistakes.

3. Take some time to relax and gather thoughts so that you aren't trying to have a rational discussion in the heat of the moment. This largely depends on your personality. I personally want to and can immediately start the process of reconciliation but most people I know have tempers flared and cannot think clearly for awhile so trying to talk to them before they have sufficiently calmed down only adds fuel to the fire.

4. Accept responsibility for your actions. This goes for any time. We all makes mistakes and it's okay. No one worth having as a friend/colleague will hold a grudge for making a mistake or bad judgment, but they will hold a grudge if you don't assume responsibility for it and learn from the experience.

5. Talk face to face. A lot of times, you can see in the other person's eyes and tone that they are sorry, even if they don't find the right words to express it. Many people nowadays want to avoid this direct interaction and instead choose to fight over text messages or instant messages but that is really inadequate.

6. Empathize. It may not have been your fault, but there are probably things you could have done to help the situation. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to imagine what you would have done/thought.

7. When you say you're sorry, don't immediately follow it up with an excuse. Say the apologies, don't worry about your ego getting hurt a bit.

8. After you're on good terms again, then you can talk about what you can do better next time and mention some of the other little things the other person could have done to help you out. But those aren't actually important to resolving the conflict.

9. Especially if it's time-sensitive, don't argue about why you're in the predicament. Offer a solution. It may be good to talk about how the situation could have been avoided, but do that later. It's more important to fix what went wrong.

10. Be honest. This is probably the most important and it goes hand in hand with taking responsibility for your actions and again, goes for any situation, not just when conflict arises. If you're honest and they still don't forgive you or like you, then they aren't worth your time.