How to Do an Elementary School Class Gift Exchange Without Tears

'Tis the season for holiday parties and gift giving. Participating in a gift exchange with family, friends or at work is challenging at times for adults, so why do we put this pressure on our children too? If your child's elementary class has chosen to include a gift exchange into the winter party mix this year, then please pass this on to them. Here are some great tips to follow that will keep the spirit in giving yet keep away the tears!

Prepare the kids ahead of time. Gift-giving should be the most important part of a gift exchange, not the receiving. Chances are that not everyone will be happy with what they receive no matter what you do. However, give them some tools ahead of time so that they will make good choices. Talk about being grateful, the reward of giving, thoughtfulness, and being thankful.

Do not draw names. Having everyone bring a gift without knowing who it is for will provide an element of surprise. It will also avoid hurt feelings if someone chooses a name of a classmate they don't like or don't want to buy a gift for.

Be specific about the type of gift to be given. Just telling the kids to bring in a gift to exchange will end up to be disastrous! You will have kids that dislike their gift and will openly say. You will have hurt feelings and no fun had by many. Be very specific. Have them each bring in a book to exchange. Ask the teacher for a grade level reading list and then suggest that they choose to bring a book from the list. An ornament exchange is also an idea. There are fun character ornaments as well as silly Santa ones that most children will enjoy.

Set a reasonable dollar amount that everyone can afford. Do not leave this open-ended for the parents to try to out-do one another. Give a dollar range that anyone can afford. $3-5 is reasonable and there will be plenty of items within that range.

Decide ahead if the gift needs to be gender neutral or gender specific. Do you want the kids to buy a gift that everyone would like or have the girls purchase girl gifts and the boys purchase boy gifts. It doesn't really matter, but be sure that they understand in advance.

Have a few extra on hand at the party in case someone forgets. You will need to buy a few extra gifts and have them wrapped and ready to go. Do not leave out a child because they forgot to bring a gift for the exchange. And do not point out who didn't bring a gift.

Play a gift exchange game. Exchanging the gifts through a game is a lot of fun. Who will get my gift? What gift will I get? Games like Hot Potato where you pass the gift and whoever has it when the music stops gets that gift is fun. You can hide the gifts around the room and they keep the gift they find. Or you can number the gifts and then everyone draws a number and receives the gift that matches. Just make the gift exchange fun!

Choose to do something extraordinary instead of a gift exchange. You may want to have the class participate in a charity gift giving activity. This will avoid all hurt feelings and go a step farther in teaching the true spirit of gift giving. You can have them each bring a book to donate to the library or a local charity. They can each bring an item for a Christmas dinner and then give it to a needy family or a local food bank. Contact a local charity and get the name of a family in need and then everyone brings something for them. There are a variety of ways to do this and make it a fun and rewarding experience.