How an Engagement Ring Brought Drama Into My Life

I never thought that an engagement ring would bring such stress and gossip into my life. Like most women, I did my fair share of browsing before hinting at the ring that I wanted. While I was never really a ring person, or a jewelry person for that matter, I thought that I would have some idea of what I wanted. However, after the failure of the first attempt at a ring, I found that my choice in ring was much different than what I originally thought that I wanted.

The first ring that I chose was set in silver, had a large yellow Cz center stone surrounded by small white Cz stones. While the ring was beautiful and far more affordable than the traditional engagement ring, it felt a bit large and heavy for my small fingers that were not used to carrying any kind of weight. Not only was the ring too large, the silver reacted badly to my skin causing it to quickly tarnish. After the sadness caused by the 'failure' of the first ring caused, I was really apprehensive of every ring I looked at after that. But that isn't the end of the first ring's story.

When I first showed up to work in my first ring I got many compliments on how different and beautiful it was, however, there was one coworker who felt it necessary to make it clear to me her dissatisfaction with my ring. She expressed her belief that my ring needed to be "real", and told me how her husband would never allow her to wear anything "fake". I felt like she was raining on my parade. My ring was real simply because the commitment behind it was real. I always told my boyfriend that I wanted a ring that truly represented the time when we got engaged, and a true representation of that time meant that it would be something on the inexpensive end. I didn't understand why this coworker was so concerned with my ring, this wasn't a women that I was close with, I don't hang out with her outside of work, so why should she care? If she wasn't happy for me, couldn't she at least keep her comments to herself?

Finally, after being engaged for two weeks, my fiance and I set out to find a replacement ring, one that would last me a lifetime, or at least until I decided I wanted a new one as an anniversary present. We visited every jewelry store in the mall twice before I found a very petite and girlie pearl ring at a well-known department store. We were able to afford the ring due to their huge jewelry sale. I love the fact that the ring is still something different from the typical engagement ring. There is a pearl in the center with four very small diamonds on each side of the pearl, and all this beauty is set in white gold. It is so much lighter than the first ring, and although the first ring will certainly always hold a special place in my heart as the original, I feel that this ring is a better representation of me. You see, my fiance and I have completely different taste in rings, and once I got him to relinquish complete control to me, I started looking and much smaller rings.

I thought for sure that even though I wasn't aiming for the second ring to shut my annoying coworker up, this new ring would do the trick. Needless to say, I was wrong. While she complimented my new ring to my face, she then, two days later bashed it to my fiance (we both work at the same place). She claimed that it needed to be diamond, and contrary to what she said when commenting on my first ring, it could be fake diamond. She told him how her ring was set in silver, which I have yet to find a diamond ring set in silver, and mentioned some fake diamond rings that sold for as little as $25.

While my fiance was telling me this story I began to suspect that no matter what ring I wore on my finger she would never find it good enough, not because she is extremely picky, but rather because she has a thing for my fiance and wants to use my ring as some sort of "proof" that we aren't really going to get married. She is in a marriage that she is not happy with, she tells us almost every other day. She feels it necessary to hug my fiance hello and good-bye every time she sees him, especially when I can bare witness to the act. She even went as far as to tell my fiance that she heard that he didn't even really want to marry me. So, what is in an engagement ring as become clear to me.

An engagement ring isn't just an outside symbol to let the world know that you are taken, infact, I am beginning to believe that the outside world doesn't give a damn that there is a ring on a finger, they will pursue what they want regardless. I now know that the ring is all in your heart. I love my ring, I think it is beautiful, not just aesthetically, but in the emotion that is behind it.

My fiance didn't propose at some $50 a plate restaurant, or on the jumbo screen at a sporting event, he didn't it in our bedroom while I was in my pajamas. After I said yes I finished cooking our tacos, and we spent the night watching television and making each other laugh with our lame jokes that only we truly appreciate. It was a night of us being us, and that night meant the world to me. His commitment to me is not quantified by the number of figures on my ring's price tag, or the type of stone in the middle. His commitment to me is reaffirmed everyday when he gets up and goes to work, when he helps me grocery shop, when he tells me he loves me, and through the many other small and big things that he does everyday consciously and unconsciously. So, I don't care what my coworker and anyone else has to say about my ring, it is mine, just like he is mine, and I am his. And we will be each others' for the rest of our lives.