How to Enjoy Having H1N1 Swine Flu

H1N1 "Swine" Flu is widespread in 46 states, according to the CDC. Chances are if you haven't had swine flu yet, you're going to catch it soon. Here's a look at the lighter side of the flu - ways to enjoy your bout of H1N1 while you recover. Remember, laughter is the best medicine.

Sick Days: No Problem!

Before H1N1, the standard M.O. was to dose up with Advil and a plethora of other drugs, and drag yourself into the office. Now, everyone is so terrified of "Swine Flu" that sick leave policies have been relaxed. Some companies, in an effort to keep H1N1 out of the workplace, are allowing extra paid flu sick time even for employees that have used up their sick leave. Enjoy the extra days for recovery, with no pressure to return to the office quickly!

Interesting Fever Dreams

Most H1N1 victims spend their days sleeping (another thing to enjoy!). The flu-associated fever sparks many unusual dreams. You may find yourself swimming in a coral reef on your living room carpet, or walking on mushrooms so the acorns don't bite you. Perhaps you'll even find enlightenment in a rubberized three-foot-high golden egg. Such enjoyable hallucinations usually involve illegal and illicit substances, but they can be yours free and legally with a case of H1N1 flu.

A Valid Excuse For Takeout

When the primary family cook is ill with H1N1, the rest of the family will quickly tire of frozen pizza. Enjoy the world of takeout! Burgers are not enough for the recovering flu victim; choose spicy veggie laden stir-fries and Thai and Indian curries to sweat the flu bugs out and speed your recovery. Alternatively, chicken soup from your favorite homestyle restaurant, followed by rice pudding, will nourish the H1N1 patient with a sensitive stomach.

Back in the Skinny Jeans

"Swine" flu is terrific at suppressing the appetite. Flu victims report losing as much as a pound a day and two inches off their waistlines after a bout with H1N1. This side effect of flu can have you looking trim in time for upcoming holiday events. Once you're fully recovered that black dress or tuxedo will look great on you. Enjoy the quick weight loss!

Catch Up Time

That trashy book you didn't finish at the beach this summer? Last season's "Mad Men?" Remember, you're recovering from H1N1. This is the perfect time to catch up on something frivolous. Netflix will deliver to your door, so you don't even have to drag your flu-ravaged body to the video store. It's recreation without guilt, because you are sick, after all.

Built-In Excuse

Don't want to host any trick-or-treaters, or the annual Thanksgiving family reunion? H1N1 can take a few weeks to recover from. Even after the fever is gone, the fatigue and coughing continue. You can take the rest of 2009 to enjoy recovering from the flu, and skip out on blind dates, PTA meetings, or anything else unappealing. Just make sure you go home, drink a tall glass of orange juice, put up the 'do not disturb' sign and go straight to bed to continue your recovery!

Enjoy your bout of flu, and try to make the most of it. You'll end up partially immune to the next round of H1N1 when it arrives fifty years from now. And remember, what you learn from H1N1 you'll be able to reuse when you recover from seasonal flu two months later.

The information in this article is not meant to substitute for the care of a medical professional.

"2009 H1N1 Flu: Situation Update", CDC