How to Establish a Bed Time Routine

8:30 Parents tell the kids to stop playing and get ready for bed.
8:45 Parents tell the kids again, with a little bit of an edge in their voice. The parent refutes the child's please to stay up later.
8:50 The parents start picking up the child's toys and hustle them into the bathroom to brush their teeth.
8:55 The parents nudge the children out of the bathroom and into their bedrooms to get their pajamas.
9:15 The parents got distracted, so the kids are playing in their room without their pajamas on. The parents get the kids into their pajamas and put them in bed.
9:20 Pleas begin from the kids to have a glass of water, etc., etc.

Though this routine may be typical in many homes, it is not necessary. It is both desirable and possible to establish a bed time routine that is consistent and workable. Here are a few pointers:

1. Start young. This is not to say that if you have a 7 and 9 year old who are difficult to get to bed that you can't change that fact. However, the earlier you start, the better. We began getting our kids into bedtime routines when they were infants. Habits are formed early on and by starting early you can develop good bed time principles that will last.

2. Give a signal. What will signal the beginning of the bed time routine? Will it be when you say, "Please clean up your toys."? Or will you say, "In five minutes, it's time to start cleaning up."? There should be something you say or do that tells your children, "It's time to be done playing and go to bed." Whichever way you decide to go, once you say, "Clean up," do not leave the room and expect your children to follow through. This is especially true if you are trying to undo a bad bed time routine. Instead, stay with your children and oversee their compliance. Explain to them that bed time is going to be done differently from now on and that they will need to work hard to help make it happen.

3. Walk them through the steps. Bed time often gets away from parents when they get distracted. Whether they're working on the computer, talking to their spouse, or on the phone, they lose track of their children. All of a sudden it's twenty minutes after bed time and the kids are still playing. You must walk them through picking up, brushing their teeth and putting on their pajamas.

4. Eliminate the negotiating. "I have to go to the bathroom." and, "I need a drink of water." Are the tell-tale phrases that your child will use to say, "I don't want to be in bed yet. Can I get out of this?" Prevent this by having your kids go to the bathroom and have a small drink of water after they brush their teeth. The rule should be, "Once you're in bed, you stay there. If you didn't do it before you got in bed, you don't need to do it now." It sounds harsh, but in reality it's a consistent, obtainable standard that will save you and your children from a bed time power struggle.

5. Have a cozy send-off. Bed time is a great time to reconnect with your kids. After the running around of a busy day, it is nice to have a cozy ritual or past time you can enjoy with your kids. Whether you like to read books, sing songs, say a prayer, or just talk about the day, establish what you will do consistently, every night, before tucking your kids into bed.

With a little bit of planning and much consistency, even the most undisciplined bed-going children can be reformed. Communicate your plans, follow through, eliminate excuses and reconnect with your kids in order to establish a successful bed time routine.