How to Explain Bad Words to Kids

Some people forget that kids are like a sponge. They will copy just about everything they see people do. I can name a number of examples where this happens. How about when a young boy sees his dad shaving and he wants to shave, too? I can remember having my own plastic disposable razor to pretend I was shaving. It made me feel like a big person. Or, how about a young girl who wants to put on lip stick and makeup like her mother? Wow, my sister had a big disaster with that one time. When we're young, we love to follow the actions of others. Unfortunately, kids may learn something that is not so good. This thing would be swearing.

While most parents try to avoid using swear words around their kids, it is not all that uncommon for someone to slip up at one time or another. I remember my parents slipping up many times and it was always usually unintentional. They would think I wasn't in the same room as them and then I would show up unexpectedly and here something. Or, I would hear my parents arguing and hear every word you could imagine: the "b" word, "f" word, and more stuff that I probably should have not heard. Unfortunately, the walls of our apartment were really thin so you could hear everything. I remember my mother telling me to never use those words because they would make me feel really sick. When I was really young (around 6 years of age) she told me that if I said a bad word, Santa Clause would not come to our home and give me presents. These are things that a child can identify with. I knew that I wanted Christmas gifts and that I didn't want to get sick, so I was pretty good about not saying any bad words.

I remember many of the arguments my parents got into when I was a young kid. My sister and I would be lying in bed and hearing every single word under the sun. Unfortunately, with the words came a lot of yelling. When I was a kid, I equated the "s" word and "f" word with really loud shouting. Now that I am older, I cannot stand it when people yell. So, if I hear yelling, I usually try to get away from the situation, listen to music, etc.

For one thing, if I slipped up I would feel like an idiot. For every time I said a word, I would put a certain amount of money in a jar and whatever amount ended up in there after a year would go to charity. If my child heard it, I would probably tell them the same things that my mother did. I would also tell them that good kids do not say mean things and that they should not say adult words. I would tell them that adults say things they don't mean to say. If my kid said a bad word, I would probably put them in a time out or take away one of their favorite toys. I would also use creative tactics such as feeding them a food that they would not like to eat. I would tell them that a bad word makes food taste really bad. They would equate the "bad" food with saying bad words and would be less likely to say it. I would tell them that every time I say a bad word, I have to eat bad food too. It goes along the same line as the washing out the mouth with soap principle.

Profanity will always be around. There is just no way to get around it. Our kids will hear it at public places such as schools, stores, and even just walking in a neighborhood. All we can do is let them know that cuss words are not good words and that there are consequences for saying them.