How to Explain a Father's Job Downsizing to Children Under Five

AC contributor
The father is the beacon of strength in the eyes of a child under the age of five, and often many years beyond that. A symbol of protection, the father is often the sole individual that a child looks to for strength, sustenance and the promise of eternal safety. While mothers put the food on the table as well, one can't deny the fact that so many children look to their fathers for a strong sense of household stability. As such, it can be devastating for a dad to lose his job. In these hard economic times, more and more fathers are finding themselves in their homes pouring over the newspaper's bare employment section each morning rather than in the office earning a living. It can be a humbling experience, especially for dads with young children who may not be capable of understanding harsh economic factors. However, explaining to kids that dad will be home for a little while can be made a bit less stressful with a few tips in mind. Consider the following strategies addressing how to explain a father's job downsizing to children under five before holding your next family meeting.

Tip #1: Lightly cover the economic contributors. Helping children under five understand that the reasons for dad's job loss differ in the real world from anything they might have seen on television is absolutely essential. To prevent them from feeling that dad could have done something differently or that he made a mistake, lightly cover one or two factors in the economy that came together to contribute to this job loss.

Tip #2: Go ahead and explain what this means financially without scaring the children or giving them a sense of dread. There's no reason for them to be burdened with something they cannot alleviate. Help your children understand that there will be some cutbacks without letting on to just how serious the situation is or may become. Just letting them know that things will be tight will be more than sufficient.

Tip #3: Make this a time of coming together to help one another. Rather than focusing just on dad, let the kids feel that this time is one for the entire family to band together and be strong. Choose to be happy for the children's sake, if only in front of them, and encourage a positive attitude.

Tip #4: Refrain from isolating dad. Explain that other dads are losing jobs too, and that they'll find new ones again. Leave hope for your children for the future to alleviate any sense of dread that they may be harboring. Children under five have active imaginations and can conjure up the worst, rational or not, especially when it comes to situations they can't fully grasp. Help them understand that they are not the only family going through a downsizing dilemma, and that you'll all come through in the end.

Tip #5: In the initial conversation, explain to the kids that dad will be home more for them. Make the best of this time together when job hunting has been done for the day. Make inexpensive plans to spend quality time together that will be lost again once employment is found. Fill this temporary period with happy memories for the children to minimize the permanent impact of seeing their father unemployed (and for the sake of enjoying precious time with them, as well).

Tip #6: Give the kids a chance to make suggestions. Young children five years old and under often make an earnest effort to help mommy and daddy whenever they see them hurting. As silly as they may sound, try to listen when the kids attempt to help dad after learning that he's been downsized from his job. Doing so will help them feel less helpless during the duration of this episode of your lives.

Finally, try to keep your emotions in check around the children during this difficult time. For dads, that means controlling anger, frustration, and avoiding giving kids the "silent treatment" as a means of coping with the daily stresses of being home with them. When employment finds its way back into your life, you'll be proud of having taken the necessary steps toward minimizing the impact of this crisis for your kids forever. Like a good parent, you'll find a way to handle adult problems without burdening the young hearts in your life.

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1 Comments

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  • CC Allison11/13/2008

    Excellent advice. Children are part of the family and need to know what's going on -- children completely shielded from family finances grow into young adults who don't know how to handle money.

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