How to Explain Profanity to Kids and Correct Them When They Use It

One of my favorite country songs is "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. There is a part in there that says "Then my four-year-old said a four letter word. It started with "s" and I was concerned. Now son, where'd you learn to talk like that? Dad I been watchin' you, now ain't that cool!" The sad part of this song is those lyrics are a reality. Our children use profanity so naturally that we are often stumped on what to say when they do it. I have been down this road many times with my six-year-old and I know from first hand that when you hear those nasty words come out of a sweet mouth that your heart sinks and you don't know how to make it not happen again. I have tried many things and I am here to lend my advice with some tips on how to explain what cussing is to children and how to correct them when they do so.

1. Monkey See, Monkey Do
Just like the lyrics to the song above, more then half the children out there hear cuss words for the first time come from their own parents mouths. When we have children it is hard to cut old habits and we tend to slip up on a cuss word when we hurt ourselves, or did something wrong. The first thing is to watch our own mouth! I know this is hard, but try your best. Instead of using the s-word in front of them, replace it with a cleaner word like, "OH MAN".

2. Explain What A Cuss Word Is
If you say the s-word, you know what the dictionary term means, but more then half the times we say it, we don't actually mean the true meaning. Try to tell them that cuss words are nasty words that people use to make them sound more demanding, or serious about a situation. Explain to them that cuss words are profanity words and a profanity word is words that are not allowed in places such as your home, churches, schools, restaurants and so on. Saying those words in places like that will have consequences to it.

3. But Mommy...
If your child asks you, "how do I know what cuss words are?" It is a simple explanation. Tell them to know a cuss word is to first listen to hear an adult say after a set of words "that is a grown up word and you should never say it". I know many times before once I said the s-word or d-word, once I said it I would look at my boy and tell him that he should never use that word because it is a bad word.

4. Warning One
You have told your child about profanity and now they are still opting to say those bad words. There comes a time where you will need to discipline them on their actions. First stay calm. It is easy to get all hot and bothered once you hear your child say any bad word, and our first reaction would be to scream and send them to their room but, if you do not warn them once, they will not understand what just happened. Tell them you are giving them one warning because he or she used the s-word, or d-word. After that warning tell them that the next time you hear them say it, it will be strike 1 and a punishment will occur.

5. Strike One
After the warning has been in place, the word pops out again. Now it is time to lay down your foot and show your child you will not tolerate that type of language in your house. Strike one can consist of television time being taken away or no video games tonight. Now you have passed that and it's strike two. Make them go to bed early. If they still want to cuss, then give them strike three and tell them that since they chose to talk like that then the punishment they had today will be in affect for tomorrow as well. Sometimes this process can take days or even weeks, so do not give up when you have to send your child to bed early for a week or so. Eventually they will see you mean business and they need to find a better way to stay out of trouble.

6. Make Them The Adult
Like I said at the beginning of this, kids will more then likely hear a cuss word come from our mouths first. The best thing to show your child that you are on their level is to allow them to discipline you when they hear you use any cuss word. You can either have the option of putting money in a toy jar for them. Add a dollar every time you use the word and at the end of the week they can have the money to get a toy. Another great thing is to allow them to tell you that there is no TV for you tonight or no computer. They will see that you are working with them. Also when children are given the role of being an adult, they will surprise you and start acting like an adult themselves.

7. Dumbs You Down
I never liked it when my parents would tell me when I cussed that I sounded stupid, but really you do. However, children do not need to hear they are dumb for saying those things. Explain to them that when people cuss, sometimes they want to sound like they are popular and cool, but in reality it really hides how smart you actually are. When you hear your child cuss as them why they chose to say that word. Ask them what word could they use to replace the one they just said.

8. Never Correct A Cuss Word With A Cuss Word
My boy just say the s-word, and I just asked him "Why did you say the s-word?" Of course I used the real word and not the pg version. If you are going to correct your child, the last thing you want to do is repeat what they just said. Make sure you use the sayings, s-word, d-word, f-word and so on.

9. Communication
Last and most important tip is to always keep the communication open with your child. Make sure they know they can come to you and ask about cussing before they do so. Studies show that if you acknowledge to your children you want to talk openly about things, then they will come to you and feel like they can ask you about any cuss words.