How to Get Famous like Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens is one of the most famous young stars today, and I bet you'd like to know how to be famous, too! Well, it takes a lot of hard work, luck, but most of all, a willingness to do any and everything.

DATE YOUR HOT CO STARS. Zac Efron is a newsmaker. Vanessa Hudgens is a newsmaker. But if you put them together, you get Vanessafron, which is a phenomenon beyond any tabloid's wildest dreams. Another great example of this is the stars from Twilight (although they seemed sooooo fake). Lesson? ONLY act in plays with a hot co-star. Make sure that this hot co-star passes the Name Crunch test (your two names must form one cool name like Voltron -- for instance, Jessica Alba and Colin Farrell wouldn't work -- Colinalba sounds like a disease). Once you have accomplished this, go on to Step 2.

MAKE A NAKED OOPSIE. Vanessa Hudgens has had naked pictures of her leak not once, but TWICE to the entire internet. You'd think that one would learn after the first oopsie not to make a second one. Unless one were INCLINED to make the second oopsie on purpose to promote one's otherwise undistinguished movie...(can we say Bandslam looks like it was made in someone's basement?) Nevertheless, this is what you have to do to stay on top. Especially as a female actress, looks fade, girl. Use what you got while you got it. Then hopefully by the time you're Meryl Streep's age, you'll have garnered the elusive quality known as "respect," and movie producers and directors will actually hire you for your talent. Because at 50 darlin, you won't have much else. (Except for Reba McIntyre. She's just hawt at any age.)

MAKE AND PROMOTE BAD MOVIES WITH A SMILE. Bandslam -- cmon. BANDSLAM?? It's like High School Musical's unpopular alternative younger brother who no one will sit with at the lunch table. Maybe Bandslam should watch Mean Girls so it will learn how to navigate the treacherous turf that is the Hollywood entertainment industry. Ok, at this table, we have really well-produced, corny movies that are financially backed by members of the Illuminati and will therefore do well no matter what. (That would be High School Musical.) And at this table, we have crappily-produced corny movies that three schmos tried to make on the budget of a Burger King salary and will therefore fail no matter what. Nevertheless, as Vanessa Hudgens, you must be a consummate professional at all times. If your movie sucks, and even if you KNOW it sucks, put on a smile and make the daytime talk show rounds. What a tough job, right, lying to Kelly Ripa about how cool your new movie is going to be. By the way, she totally eclipsed Regis. No one talks about that old man anymore, at all. If I were him, I'd be mad. Did he at least casting couch her before she got on his show and just took the whole thing over? For his old sake, I hope so.