How to Fight Nice with Your Spouse

I would think that it is safe to say that there is not a married or committed couple out there that has not had a disagreement, argument, or a fight. When you live with someone you spend a lot of time with them. When any two people spent a lot of time together they are bound to disagree on something at some point.

Fights begin as disagreements. One person sees one thing one way and the other sees things a totally different way. There is a clash of opinions.

Stop right there. That is the most pivotal moment of it all. What happens at this moment of the clash of opinions determines whether there will be a fight or not, whether things will go good or get ugly.

So, you're at that moment of the clash of opinions. What happens next is either a resolution is begun or a fight is begun. The choice is up to you. Thus we begin the do's on do not's of fighting with your spouse...it all begins at that moment of the clash.

Do: Listen to what your spouse has to say. You may not agree but they have a right to state their case, just as you do.

Do not: Put their ideas down by means of insult. Listen to them without interrupting and they will give you back the common respect of doing the same for you.

Fights turn ugly when the insults about the others opinion or idea start being thrown around. Do not be disrespectful, do respect your spouse and try to be understanding.

Do keep an open mind, and try to be understanding. Try your best to understand the reasons why your spouse is set on whatever or feels the way they do. Do not ignore your spouse. Do not assume their way is totally wrong and thus refuse to listen. Do not be stubborn or bull headed. Do keep your mind open to all possibilities.

Do not ever yell or scream. Do keep your voice tone calm. Do not let anger be the only feeling you feel. Do set your anger aside and try to find a resolution to the problem at hand. Do not keep the conversation going if you can not put your anger aside long enough to have a calm conversation. Do walk away. Do prevent yourself from saying something you will later regret by leaving the situation. Do not stick around and make matters worse. Do return to the conversation when you are calm. In the meantime think it over rationally. Do not let the problem remain unresolved.