How I (Finally) Met Mr. Right

I started dreaming of Mr. Right in my preteens. He would be handsome, smart, and rich. I secretly wondered if every boy I that I developed a crush on could be "the one". I thought that I had found true love at 15, only to be crushed when my boyfriend moved away, broke up with me, and broke my heart.

Fast forward through ten years and countless dates with Mr. Wrong. By my mid-twenties, many of my girlfriends had married guys from whom I would not even accept a second date. Were they settling in order to settle down? I wondered if my standards were too high.

Then I met HIM. They guy who seemed to fulfill my every dream. He was sexy, funny, financially stable, a great dancer, and crazy for me. He moved thousands of miles to be near me. He told me that he wanted to get married and had gone shopping for an engagement ring. He whispered all the right sweet nothings in my ear. And then.......nothing.

There always seemed to be some excuse why we couldn't actually plan a wedding. He was hesitant about introducing me to his family. He never actually gave me that engagement ring.

At first I thought he had just had some negative prior experiences with women and that I would win him over with patience. As years passed and my patience wore thin, I began to suspect that he was not entirely honest with me. Eventually, I realized that he was still sowing oats while stringing me along. I had invested my heart and soul in the relationship and I was devastated. I finally came to conclusion that no matter how lonesome and miserable I might be single, it couldn't be any more miserable than I already felt in my relationship, and I broke things off.

I thought a lot about what things were important to me in a soul mate. Sure, he had to like to dance but he didn't have to be Fred Astaire. Good looks were important, but so was a kind heart. My man didn't need to be poplular but he did need to be friendly and outgoing. I thought less about superficial things and more about qualities that that really last. I no longer wanted someone who would say all the right things and sweep me off my feet. It was more important that he DO the right things.

My married girlfriends were all having children by now and I felt left behind. As my pool of eligible girlfriends shrank, my hopes of meeting a nice guy who was not gay, married, or addicted to something also diminished. Not having a boyfriend was downright scary. Everyone else seemed to be a couple. I felt as though I had stepped off a cliff into the unknown. I didn't know where it might lead, but I knew that there was only one way to find out.

At the age of 30 I decided to be responsible for my own happiness. Whether or not Mr. Right came along, I would enjoy life. I wasn't going to be looking any more. I wasn't going to wait any more. I wasn't going to be completed by someone else. I would complete myself. I wouldn't let my biological clock determine my future. I would accept whatever my love life dealt me with grace and humor.

This may sound simple to some people, but to me it was radical. In a society where romance and love are the most important components of every story that ends happily ever after, making the decision to live happily ever after regardless of my marital status was a complete mind shift.

Christmas came seven months later. All my married friends were planning family celebrations. I was planning a Christmas alone at home, when a work trip to the Middle East came up. I decided to see a new part of the world instead of sitting home and feeling sorry for myself. And at a Christmas Eve party it just happened.

A gorgeous Marine with beautiful blue eyes and a sexy smile asked me out to dinner. Now he was cute, but he wasn't "my type". I figured it probably couldn't develop into anything, since I would be gone in a few weeks and never see him again. But that date led to another, and another, and to phone calls, and letters, and then a visit, and then a proposal!

My relaxed attitude (no need to stress since I would never see him again) and my independent character (obviously if I were still single at 31, I wasn't the needy type) had hooked him. He was the kind of guy that I would have written off when I was younger as undereducated, overly outdoorsy, and lacking in similar interests. What I found out after we took the time to know one another, however, was that we had similar values.

We've been married for 15 years now and have 3 beautiful children and a dog. He is the best husband and father in the world. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to ensure that I am not dreaming.

I realize now that if I had met my husband while I was still actively searching for Mr. Right, that I would not have recognized him. I was so determined to find the perfect mate, that my husband would have passed me right by. I was so concerned with finding a man who would make my life complete, that my life was only half full.

It was only when I decided to be happy on my own, that I found happiness with another. It was only when I stopped waiting and started really living, that my love life finally took off. It was only when I finally decided that I didn't need Mr. Right that he materialized before my very eyes.