How Financial Pressures Can Negatively Affect a Relationship

Financial pressures and worries can affect people at any stage of life. These worries can relate to overspending, financial losses, loss of a job, or a host of other problems. When money is tight or debt is large, the pressures from financial worries can begin to dig into the fabric of a relationship. The problems these concerns cause show up as other symptoms at times, but the underlying cause is money.

Financial problems are often the source of secrets.

When honesty drains from a relationship, so does trust. As financial worries grow, one party usually bears the bulk of the feeling of responsibility for handling the problem. Guilt and uncertainty leads to efforts to hide the true financial picture from the other partner. Secrets in one area may or may not reflect secrets in other areas of the relationship. The loss of trust that comes when the secret is uncovered will cause the other party to lose confidence in their mate and possibly in the relationship. Financial problems are frequently caused by the actions of both people. It is always best just to be open. If the relationship cannot survive honesty, it will certainly not survive secrets.

Reckless spending by one person puts a strain on finances and relationships.

When one person in a relationship cannot control personal spending, problems caused by money loom large on the horizon. This overspending can be a symptom of personal issues like low self-esteem, greed, and selfishness, or a tendency toward addictive behaviors. The reckless spending can bankrupt both the finances and the relationship. The second person in the relationship will eventually grow tired of the pressure generated by this unrestrained spending. Either the relationship will grow cold or simply be abandoned.

Unequally shared concerns about money will erode a relationship.

In some couples, one partner may express a desire to be left out of the financial dealings of the relationship. While this sounds like it will simplify things, it actually sets up the couple for future problems. The day will come when there are financial pressures. At that point, two things happen: the disinterested person will demand an accounting of how the money was spent. The person burdened with the pressure of managing the financial resources can become angry and feel betrayed. On top of this, effects of the unshared pressure can lead to health and emotional issues in the responsible person. In some ways, the lack of commitment to the finances of a relationship reflects a lack of commitment to the relationship.

Large disparities in the income of the partners can become emphasized during times of financial problems.

The old model of a man who brings in the money and a woman who tends the house is fading into the sunset. Dual incomes are today's normal financial picture for couples. This arrangement leads to comparisons of which person should have the most control of finances and the relationship based on having the superior income. The problems begin to erupt when money pressures build. Arguments about who has the most power based on generated income will become common. This unequal income unites two of the big issues in relationships: how to spend the money, and who is holds the power.

Financial woes can stress multiple aspects of a relationship.

Too little money can lead to too much work. Fatigue or a lack of free or leisure time will cause pressure to build without a relief valve. Living in poor housing, eating inferior food, and wearing low quality clothing all affect relationships. Difficulties in meeting the physical needs of the family erode the fabric of the couple's relationship. Bill collectors, repossessions, and evictions all conspire to weaken the bonds for the couple. Couples have to work together and keep up good communication regarding the family finances in order for the relationship to survive.