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How to Find a Man for a Relationship: Ten Simple Tips

s.e. Jones
It's hard to meet people these days. Everyone is so busy. If you're single and looking, how are you supposed to find someone that interests you? Well believe it or not, it's not nearly as hard as some make it sound. This article is for single women who are looking to find a man and haven't found success through other venues, e.g. online dating services. Use these ten simple tips and you will find a man that not only interests you, but finds you interesting as well.

1 - Figure out what you are really looking for. This is probably the most important thing you can do to find a man. Sometimes people fool themselves into thinking they want something different from what they truly desire. For example, you might think you need someone who is good-looking, smart, funny and sensitive. But do you? Isn't this what everyone thinks they want? How do you know this is what you want? Have you ever been with someone that was all these things? The point here, is you need to be more realistic. Here's how. Look at your past. Think of all the guys you've known. Which ones did you like? I don't mean in the relationship sort of way, I mean in the "like" sort of way. Think about your relatives, you friends and their families. Think about everyone you can remember in your whole life. Who stands out? Who made you feel comfortable, or safe? These are the subtle clues to your true wants and desires. It's possible you're actually more comfortable with blue collar guys with big guts and a beer in hand.

2 - Get out of the house and away from where you work. It's very easy to get in a rut. We get up, get ready, go to work, come home, clean up, eat and then crash. You're not going to meet anybody with that routine. Not only does it keep you in the same places you always are, which obviously isn't working or you wouldn't be reading this, but it runs you down, makes you tired and less interested in looking or being looked at by others. You need to break out of your habits. Get out. Go to a movie. Go to dinner. Go to a book store or on a hike. Go jogging or biking or to a museum. Go on vacation. Book a cruise. Walk to the park near where you live. Anything and everything to get you up and out of the house. Go to places you've never been. You'll never know who or what is out there unless you get out there and have a look for yourself. Also, don't travel in groups. When you go out, do it alone. Women in groups are like a hard shell to crack. It makes it difficult to see out and for others to see in. When you're alone, you see the world and the world sees you. When you're alone, you're much more inviting.

3 - Be kind. It won't kill you. Give the guys a break now and then. Say please and thank you. Say hello and goodbye. Wave. Give compliments freely and accept them with grace. Be friendly and inviting even if you have no interest in the person you are talking to. It won't matter, because being kind is something that will do you well regardless of the circumstances. People respond to kindness. It will cause them to like you. That's a very good thing when you're tying to attract a man.

4 - Talk to people. Talk to your neighbors when you see them. To your post man. Talk to the lady behind the counter at the grocery store or the guy that jogs past your house every morning. Talk to people and they will talk to you. This is how you get connected to the rest of the world. By talking to people you get to know them By getting to know them, you eventually get to know other people they know. It all keeps growing. Talk to people and your world will expand exponentially. Who knows, maybe eventually you'll wind up talking to someone who interests you.

5 - Allow yourself to be caught. The human race hasn't evolved as much as we'd like to think. We're not a lot different from those prehistoric knuckle-draggers of yesteryear. For literally millions of years the male half of our species has been honing his skills at hunting, so it should be no surprise to learn that when it comes to finding a woman, a man resorts to what he knows, and that is hunting. Whether it's hunting down the car he desires, the perfect sixty inch HDTV or the woman of his dreams, the technique is the same. Go. See. Get. Back in the day, it was simple. If it was a woman he wanted, it was a simple matter of clobbering her over the head and dragging her back to his cave. Nowadays though, things are much more complicated and this has caused a great deal of confusion for your erstwhile pursuer. Why not make it easier for him? If he looks at you, look back. If he approaches you, turn to greet him. If he seems to be mulling over how to get you, smile at him. It's not that hard. None of these things mean you have to go home with him. None mean you have to go out with him. All it means is, you are open to the possibility of considering this one single male as suitable for your purposes. Nothing more.

6 - Open your mind and your eyes. The world is half men. Granted a lot of them are already taken, but there are still a lot of them that aren't. Some might be hiding. It's been noted of late that a lot of guys, for instance, in the technical fields, have a little trouble with social skills and thus don't go out much. How might you meet them? Well, most of them at one time or another have to go to a grocery store. Or a bank. Or the mall to pick up some new underwear. That's how you find them. Go to those places and open your eyes. You might not like what you see, but that doesn't mean these guys can't be something you'd like. It means they are not out there to impress you. They're dressed as they would at home. They're just out and then home. Is it so impossible to imagine bumping into somebody while simultaneously keeping your eyes open to the possibility that they might be someone you should consider regardless of their attire or demeanor?

7 - Learn new things. Sign up for cooking lessons. Or Spanish lessons. Go to the library to do research on the mating habits of the bobcat. Or the park to figure out what kinds of flowers are growing. Dig up your family history. Go to a national park to see what all the fuss is about. Or take up archery. Or get online and learn about football or baseball and then go to a game. Learn something new, and keep doing that. An inquisitive mind is an attractive thing. And a well read mind is great for conversation. To find someone interesting, you have to have interests. To have someone be interested in you, there has to be more to you than what you do for a living. Never stop learning.

8 - Get more hobbies. Along with learning, you need to engage in something besides work and homemaking. Hobbies keep you fresh and your eyes twinkling; which is something that really attracts the guys. Take up something that takes years to master. Or take up many things. The point is to find things you like to do, and do them. Whether it's learning to play the guitar, wine making, or acting in community theater. It doesn't matter what it is, just so long as it's something more engaging than say knitting or working crossword puzzles. Your hobbies need to get you out of the house and with other people. They need to excite you and make you look forward to doing them again, so that you will. Over and over.

9 - Get happy. Smile. Loosen up. A smile is more attractive to a man than any outfit you might wear. Not only does smiling make you more attractive to look at, it tells others that you are someone who smiles, which means you are someone who is happy. And guys like happy girls, no doubt about it.

10 - Be courageous. It's hard to break out of old habits. And even harder to keep doing it when you get tired of doing it. It's also tough to put yourself out there. Sometimes, really tough. But be strong. Be courageous. Do things you normally shy from out of modesty or timidity. Be gregarious. Be daring. Don't take yourself so seriously. You'll be surprised with what you can do and proud of yourself for what you accomplish and you'll be more self confidant as a result. Self confidence attracts people. It makes them feel there's more to you than meets the eye. It will make men want to impress you. Let them.

It's not that hard to get a man. Just follow the ten simple steps above and gradually, over time, you'll notice that you are meeting more people, hopefully a lot of them male. Obviously, the more people you meet the greater the chances of meeting someone that interests you. The idea is to be more than passive or simply responsive. You need to be proactive. You need to take matters into your own hands, because really, when you get down to it, what is more important than finding someone to share with you all these new adventures you've found.

Good luck.

Published by s.e. Jones - Featured Contributor in Technology

Freeance Writer  View profile

  • Finding a man takes initiative.
  • A lot of the things you do to attract a man will also make you a happier person.
  • Don't ever think you need to change who you are to attract a man.
It is still possible in this day and age to meet someone the old fashioned way.

10 Comments

Post a Comment
  • D3/9/2012

    Read these Boos and learn everything about it:

    ALPHA FEMALE
    http://www.amazon.com/Alpha-Female-Where-find-man/dp/1470174677/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331301892&sr=1-2

    THE RULES OF SEDUCTION
    http://www.amazon.com/rules-seduction-attraction-relationships-ebook/dp/B006THL9C6/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_6

  • Sherry12/21/2010

    Finding a man his hard, but I give some good advice as well.

    www.sherrysvilla.com/wp

  • Totem11/29/2010

    When I was 13 I had this friend, couple of years older, a smoker, whose parents were divorced. One day, his mom found his cigarettes. He decided we tell his mom, that I (the friend she just met) smoke and that the cigarettes are mine. His mom said she doesn't allow him to hang out with me any more. I thought it was because of the cigarettes and she didn't want her son to hang out with smokers. After I explained my thoughts to him he decided he is going to ask his mom about it, since he had friends who smoke and mom didn't mind them, just me. A couple of hours later he desperately wanted to see me, said it was important, I couldn't imagine what this is about. Here's what he said:
    I asked my mom, and do you know what she said?
    (he was really shouting after this)
    DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAD !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
    She said that when she was young my father and your father were friends and that my dad had other friends and all of them had all this girls on their hands all

  • Try very hard to be laid back11/16/2010

    You think finding a man is hard? Perhaps it is.

    http://www.harrykey.com/blogs/dear-sis-how-to-find-a-man/

    But finding a woman is hard too...

    I wrote a similar blog.

  • Katie8/27/2010

    Over 3,000 years even now society in cultures teaches us that we all have to be pair off with someone like if this was Noah's ark. Some women can get a guy to like them but some cannot. Those who cannot are "good" women. Men always go for the mean, self centered, self fish, arrogant etc... women. For some reason I don't know why. I my self cannot get a guy to like me. I like them but they don't like me. I am honest, out going, smiling, fun, smart, have compassion and don't think about my self etc.. Right know I just do something else like spending time with my families/relatives, friends, volunteer, and travel. Yes it is very very hard. Not all women are lucky. So my advice to all you women, if you can't find a man or get a man to like you do something more important in your life, volunteer in a peace corp, teach oversees, travel with your friends do something so you won't get all worked up in your head about not finding a boyfriend or husband. Life is not fair and you cannot always ge

  • keke8/9/2010

    you need to get a job

  • Ron Smith8/4/2010

    Very True. But one thing that is very important is to know what you exactly want. I think there is a lack of knowledge and awareness - people need to read articles and blogs online to have more info about love and relationship. You better try reading http://www.datingadvice911.com/articles.php?aid=17.

  • jenna4/30/2010

    trueeee! Why do we women allllllway are having to lower our standards for? Its pathetic! And true this article blahh

  • sick of this crap advice11/2/2009

    Yup. Go to the grocery store. Thanks, but I think we also have to go to the store too, right? And isn't it nice the way women are ALWAYS being told to lower their expectations while men are constantly raising theirs? I mean, how many women actually meet a gorgeous, rich, warm, funny, kind, intelligent man? I think we just want a guy who isn't a total jerk. Good luck ladies.

  • Harretha Cooper8/18/2009

    I think this was a bunch of blah, blah, blah.

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