How to Form a Wedding Guest List: Making the Cut

After the initial whirlwind of excitement that surrounds an engagement, a couple needs to hammer out exactly what kind of wedding they will be having. Will it be a grand wedding in a cathedral with every tradition honored? Or perhaps a destination wedding on a tropical island. Or maybe a small backyard affair with close family and friends. Whatever it is, the bride and groom have many things to consider. But perhaps the most important is who will be included on the guest list. Here are some things to think about when determining who will make the cut.

-What is your ideal wedding? If you have always dreamt of a backyard affair, it would be ridiculous to assume that you will be inviting hundreds of guests. If you are having your reception in a large ballroom, the guest list truly has no limit. Determine your location before setting to work on anything else. Having the location in place will help you set realistic numbers for the amount of guests you will be having. Perhaps you always thought you would have a huge wedding with everyone you know, but then you fall in love with the idea of a wedding on the beach in Jamaica. Get the location set, and it will help everything else fall into place.

-Who will be paying for the wedding? If the parents of the bride are paying for the whole thing, then they certainly have a big say in who gets invited. If they want all their distant relatives and friends, then so be it. If the bride and groom are paying for it, then they will get to determine the size, and tell their parents how many guests they will be able to invite. It is very important to be open about any expectations that people have regarding who will be invited. Make sure you talk with your parents in depth about what people want and what is realistic.

-Family and friends want to share your day! It may seem romantic to have the two of you on a cliff overlooking the ocean while you say your vows. But before you book your plane tickets to Hawaii, think about all of those people that are going to miss out on that special moment. (And, no, watching it on video is not the same.) Your family has watched you grow up, they have shared so many special memories with you, and to cut them completely out of your wedding will be hurtful for them. Many couples remedy not having their family at the ceremony by throwing a big reception. If you are absolutely set on just the two of you at the ceremony, then be sure you find another way to include your family and friends. They really do want to share that special moment where you pledge yourselves to one another, so if you can include them in it, then do so!

-What about my dad's mom's uncle's cousin? Of course, you do not want to feel obligated to include every distant relative and acquaintance. This is a special day to share with close friends and family. If you have the budget to include those distant relatives, then by all means add them to the list. However, you do not need to include them just because they are relatives. If anyone asks, you are on a budget and need to keep the reception small!

-Do I really need to invite screaming children? This is really a matter of personal preference. Some will say that having kids at the wedding is what makes the day so fun. And really, there won't be any adults in pretty dresses staring at the bride and groom during their first dance, dreaming about when it will be their turn to be the bride. They do add a dose of fun to the ceremony and reception. There are others who want a formal affair, where children really won't figure in. Determine what you really prefer. But keep some things in mind - many guests may have difficulty finding a sitter, especially if they are travelling to your wedding; if you do not state that the event will be kid-free you will likely have kids show up anyways; and some guests may not want to go if they can't bring their kids. So be sure to give this one some thought, and if you have a lot of guests with kids, it will probably be best to add them to the invite list. Just make sure you have goody bags to keep them busy at their tables!

Remember, weddings are celebrations of love! It is your day, and you are entitled to make it whatever you want it to be! Just make sure you consider all of the points above, and you will be well on your way to a beautiful and memorable wedding day!