How to Gain Your Teens Respect

Are you having problems with your teenager? Are you about to give up and try methods which you have never used before? Whether you would like just a few tips on finishing their raising or if you are wondering how the two of you will be talking by the time they reach adulthood, you are in the right place.

Back up your own behavior and set an example. More than what you say, your teen is watching what you do. If you demonstrate financial responsibility and talk about financial responsibility, then well. If you tell them to control their temper while you are a walking volcano, then you can expect zero cooperation from them. In fact, your words really do not mean much unless you are living an entirely exemplary life. You thought it was difficult when your kids repeated everything you say! Now they are living the life which you are living. You have to hold a microscope to yourself at every minute.

Show them easy ways to get what they want out of life. They are starting out in adulthood and they are fully aware that life can be hard and that things do not always come easily. You do not have to keep repeating those words to them. Knowing the difficult road ahead, teens will spend more time and go out of their way to catch a break when they can. Even if it seems that this is all that they are doing in life, it is not because they do not understand the trials ahead, but rather because they are trying to save themselves as much heartache as possible for future years. When a role model such as yourself shows them shortcuts and easier ways to get things done, they are not only grateful, but it can become a bonding experience.

Play with them. Let's face it: You are busy with a hectic schedule and a touch of insanity. If you are disorganized, it can be much worse. On top of that, you have teenagers. This is a hard road you travel and it will not be over any time soon. Your temper is short, your nerves are fried and you devote all of your self control to not raising your voice every second. Give yourself and your teen a break by finding something enjoyable which both of you would like to do, and spend some time playing with them. This will not only recharge you, but confirm to your teen that you think highly of them and that you do not spend all of your waking hours finding things to yell about.

Work with them. Even if you have a job or feel like you are raising children all day, it is cleansing to the soul of a teenager to spend time doing labor, right beside you. It is a bonding activity, it is proof that the two of you can work together, and it makes them feel closer to the family. Invest time in gardening, a small construction project or working on your car along with your teen. Be cheerful, helpful and teach them as you work, giving them credit for things they already know.

Ask them for assistance. Teens are smart and today's teens have an edge that many of us do not have. When you are so busy parenting them that they never feel as if they are growing up or that you respect them, they want to simply separate themselves from you. Do not emphasize your ignorance on a particular subject. Rather, emphasize your respect for their knowledge and talent concerning that subject. Ask them to set aside a convenient time on their schedule to help you with something and spend the whole activity time asking questions to demonstrate your trust and respect for your young adult.

Do not try to control them - it won't work! Many parents advise each other on ways to handle their teen. They gleefully and understandingly describe punishments given and small changes in behavior. Are other parents succeeding any better than you are? Your teen is not a fool, and they are fully aware of consequences, long-term or short-term, for their actions. They know when you are displeased, so make your sentences short and sweet. Do not harangue them for hours on end, followed by a weekend of grounding. Instead, make sure you have cooled off, then tell them in short, simple terms why you do not like what they have done, and what you think would have been better to do. Do not use guilt or coercion, but finish quickly and hug them. The long-term results from this kind of respectful behavior on your part will be astounding.

Teenagers spend a lot of their time trying to control their own lives. This is a reasonable desire, since as young adults they really should have control over large portions of their lives. You can teach them while they maintain autonomy at the same time. Read some books by William Glasser, take some comfort in knowing that you are doing the right thing if not the popular thing among other parents, and watch your teen grow.