How To Be A Geek But Get The Girl

If you're like me, maybe it's easier to send an email than make a phone call. Perhaps you find it simpler to reach level 60 on World of Warcraft than talk to a pretty girl at a party. Or maybe your mind finds it easier to solve partial differential equations than figure out what women are looking for. I used to think this way, until I treated dating as a science. As a science and math nerd, I started making and testing hypothesis after hypothesis, figuring out what it takes to get the girl. I don't have great looks, I'm overweight and out of shape, but have still found a way to approach women and not get rejected every time. In true internet form, I've tried to boil down my findings into the bare necessities of what you'll need to survive in the dating jungle.

Step 1: Have Something to Say
Psychology tells us that what women really look for in a relationship, above all else, is a man that will simply be a man and lead. As a geek, you might not be used to leading other people, except possibly your EverQuest guild. The positive note here is that it doesn't take a lot of effort to learn this skill. It basically boils down to this: Know Thyself. Figure out what makes you tick, what your goals are in life, and start heading that way. If you know who you are and where you are going, a girl can either decide to jump on board or not. The plus side to this is that when you know who you are and where you are headed, rejection means less; it simply boils down to the fact they don't want to join you on your journey. Have stories practiced and ready to tell. Be ready to share who you are. This is a critical step; it will also help improve your life in many other areas.

Step 2: Basic Hygiene and Fashion
Ok, here's the deal guys. It doesn't take being a male supermodel to get the girl. However, if you smell or look greasy, good luck not getting rejected right away. Likewise, while your Ubuntu T-shirt might be awesome within your group of friends, it's not such an awesome thing to most women. The solution to this is simple. Bathe, Shave, use deodorant and a nice cologne, and keep your teeth healthy and white. Get a stylish haircut and learn how to maintain it. Pick up some basic fashion habits. You don't have to dress like a model, but lose the T-shirts. If you need help with basic fashion, I'll give you a shortcut: a nice pair of slacks, collared shirt, and a brand-name sports coat will provide a nice basic conservative look. If you have a sister or female friend, get her to help you pick out something. Or go into a nice store and have the sales clerk help. Either way, you don't have to become a frat boy, but basic hygiene and fashion go a long way.

Step 3: Conquer Your Fears
Let's face it, you're more comfortable in front of a computer screen than in front of a girl. Yet you look around, and might see a guy that has no problem at all approaching women. Here's the mathematics behind this: that guy has likely approached thousands of women over his life, compared to the hundreds you have approached. You have a lot of lost time to make up for. Set a goal, maybe 300 women, and make it a point to approach every woman you see until you reach your goal. Remember some of those stories you learned back in Step 1? Use those if conversation wanes, just don't use stories about Warcraft or particle physics. This step will not only help you conquer a fear of approaching women, but you will also become a better conversationalist in general. You have a lot of lost time to make up for, so approach as many women as possible. This is both the hardest and most rewarding step.

Step 4: Break Out Some Science
No, don't break out science talk in front of the lady (at least, right away). But dating can be a science. You all know the scientific method: research, hypothesis, experimentation, analyze. Here's how that breaks down. Research psychology, body language, evolution of mating, the art of conversation, etc. Learn everything you can about why people respond the way they do to certain things. Form a hypothesis about something, maybe you want to test if telling a certain story makes a woman more or less attracted to you, and make a guess as to why. Next, experiment with it. Use it in a real life setting, and try to get conclusive results from it. Finally, when it's over, analyze the results you got; if you want to and have guts, you may even ask the person what you could have done better.

Step 5: Adjust Your Personality
Many of you have heard this advice from women: "Oh, just be yourself!". Let's face it, we've been ourselves for twenty-five years, and it's never worked for us. Why? Because that advice is a lie. Now, I'm not saying that we should give up the core of who we are, just that we should be willing to change ourselves in order to get the results we want. After all, if our current personality was good enough, then there would be no point in reading such an article. There are things that women universally do not like, and many of those things are nearly synonymous with a "geek". Some are covered in this article, such as hygiene, timidity, and leading yourself. However, geeks are also known for a lack of social behavior and knowing how to act. You're not going to get the girl of your dreams while in front of your computer, so you're going to have to change the way you relate to people in order to get out there and find her. Here's where Step 1 is so important; you should have a list of qualities you want to maintain to be the core of who you are. Keep those, and work on improving them. However, also make a list of qualities you have that are keeping you from being the best you can be. Be willing to change those things. Really take a long look at yourself, and discover what should stay and what should go. By changing yourself in a good way, you become more attractive in every area of life.

There is a lot more that could be said on this topic, but these should give you the basics. I hope this will get you started on a journey to becoming who you want to be, and eventually becoming attractive to your dream girl. I'm serious about treating it like science. If you get rejected, don't let it bother you, but rather think about what you could have changed to get the results you desired. Adjust yourself, and give it another try. Eventually, you will succeed, and it will probably be sooner than you think. Then, you just have to worry about a new phase of life--maintaining a relationship. But that's a story for another article.