How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special

If I had a dollar for every time I have complained that a significant other doesn't do enough to make me feel special, I'd have a pretty fat savings account.

Recently, however, I've learned that men and women really do just think differently. The things that guys appreciate are many times the polar opposite from what we as women want from our guys.

It's not that our men don't care about us or want to do special things. It's just the things we'd most like often don't even occur to them.

So here, for the guys, are a few tips to help you show your girlfriend or wife she's really something special.

Listen without trying to "fix" things

Most often, when I bring up a complaint with my boyfriend, all I really want is for him to listen and say, "Yes, sweetie, that really sucks. I understand why you're feeling that way." And then, just let it go. Not every problem can be fixed, no matter how much your internal manhood wants to try.

Listen without planning your rebuttal

Probably the worst communication tactic I've seen anyone use -- not just men -- is not intently listening to the conversation. Don't begin planning your rebuttal as soon as your girlfriend starts arguing. Nothing says "I don't care about what you're saying" than that. Choose your battles wisely. Fighting just sucks, for both parties, so unless you feel intensely strong about your position, sometimes it's best just to let her have her say and drop it.

(Disclaimer: If you really do feel strongly about the subject, of course, no one expects you to roll over and not defend your position. And this tip, of course, can work for men or women.)

Remember things she likes

Nothing touches my heart more than when my boyfriend remembers something I mentioned I like. For example, in a passing conversation one time, I mentioned I had never been to a very well-known local restaurant. He ended up surprising me with a reservation there for my birthday. This showed not only was he listening to what I have to say, but that he cares enough to do something special for me.

A tip to help you, since many of us don't have spectacular memories, is to jot down a little note to yourself. Then you can look back if you've forgotten that conversation.

If she hasn't mentioned anything lately, enlist the help of her friends or family. If you have a good relationship with them, call her best girlfriend or her mom or sister and ask if there's anything she'd really enjoy but hasn't asked for.

Call (or text or e-mail or IM) even when you might not want to

Sure, guys aren't chatterboxes on the telephone. Guys can get absorbed doing "guy things," like playing video games, watching sports or just having a good time with their buddies. It's easy for a girl to feel like she's been somewhat forgotten or neglected. Girls like getting random phone calls, text messages or e-mails. It just shows we're on your mind, even when we're not around all the time.

No one expects you to pick up the phone in the last minute of the fourth quarter of the big game. But sending a text message during a commercial is a nice gesture.

Give her pet names

Even in my late 20s, I still get butterflies when my boyfriend calls me sweet pet names, like "baby" or "sweetheart." There's just something very sweet, caring and loving about it. Sure, it may be a little bit mushy for most guys, but it won't kill you once in awhile, especially if you know she loves it. And we don't require you to always call us "sweetie pie" in front of your boys. We're not that mean!

Take ownership (in a sweet way)

No woman wants her guy to club her or drag her off to the cave by her hair. However, it can be sweet or endearing for your guy to "take ownership" once in awhile. The ways in which you do this can vary, but women typically like the feeling of "belonging" to her man.

Grab her and hug her in public. Tell her you feel proud she's "yours." Talk to your friends or family about "your girlfriend/wife."

(Disclaimer: This, of course, does not include being overly possessive or hyper-jealous to the point of emotional, verbal or physical abuse.)

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it may be a helpful perspective for guys needing a hand in the romance department.

Oscar Wilde said it pretty well when he said "How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?"