How to Give Advice
The secret to achieving everything you've ever wanted in life: Stop sucking at stuff, or suck it up and start sucking some stuff. Only advice I ever needed. But in case you run into someone too dull to fully intake the genius of that statement (like I do everyday as a professional tutor), here's some guidelines to making sure your point hits home.
- Step 1 MAKE SURE THEY'RE ASKING YOU FOR ADVICE. This world makes desperate souls, mostly because everyone is too busy to care about anyone else. Many people don't want your advice; they just want you to listen. Whether you do or not is up to you, but I usually get out of those conversations pretty quickly and refer them to my therapist friend. Hey, shrinks gotta pay bills, too!
- Step 2
LISTEN. Once you determine that this person actually IS worth your time, it behooves you to shut the hell up. Let them spill their whole guts. Even if you know exactly what they're going to say before they say it, SHUT UP. Ask questions to get them to tell you everything, because there might be a twist or two. Also, as the saying goes, "I don't care what you know until I know that you care." Listening shows caring and they will listen back when you start advising them. - Step 3
INQUIRE. When it is your turn to talk, most of your words should be in the form of a question, geared to elicit the response you want. Example: "Well, what would you really gain from marrying an unemployed buck toothed fat chick with 4 kids?" (They tell you, then...) "Ok, well I heard 3 reasons for and 256 against. Does this sound like a good decision?" If they hear themselves say no, it's much more powerful than if you DECREE IT DOWN FROM ON HIGH. Get me? - Step 4
STORIES. When it is your turn to talk, and you're not asking a question, instead of DECREEING CRAP FROM ON HIGH, tell a story about a similar situation and tell where you ended up and what you learned. Say, "Well, here's what I've learned when I was going through the same thing. I learned X and Y from marrying a dumb chick" instead of "You're gonna learn! She's gonna do X and Y to you and then don't say I didn't tell ya so!" The best authors let the readers draw their own inferences, right? You're like Golding, or Austen, or Huxley.
- Step 5
BE AVAILABLE. Most situations that require advice will require more than one talk. It's usually a PROCESS, not a DECISION. So be available for future conversations. If you don't see yourself caring enough about the person to do this, you should have stopped at Step 1. See how we come full circle?
Published by Chrisdavy
AC's licentious, guilty pleasure. What can I say? I write about sex and money. You know, the important stuff. Giggle. (But I do it so well!) Fashion, too. LOL View profile
How to Give Your Hair More BodyIt's the quest of the ages, the pursuit of healthy bouncy hair. We've got the skinny on how to make your hair fat... and happy!
How to Give a Cat a BathBathing a cat is a necessary part of pet ownership. With some planning and preparation, the bath can be less stressful for both per parent and cat.- Ladies - How to Give Your Man a Gift - Know What He Wants, and Give Gracefully!You bought it for him. He politely thanked you, but underneath it all, he cringed, felt embarrassed, or even offended. What did you do wrong? Read on and find out!
When & How to Give Parenting AdviceParents don't appreciate unsolicited advice, but there are times when you should speak up. Always remember to be polite and courteous, though.- How to Give Relief to Restless and Painful Legs This article will help you to learn how to give relief to restless and painful legs by following these simple steps.
- How to Give Good Advice: 5 Great Tips
- How to Give a Face Massage
- How to Give an Abdominal Massage
- How to Give a Back Massage
- How to Give Advice to a Friend
- How to Give a Relieving Foot Massage - Step by Step
- How to Give a Neck and Shoulder Massage