How You Can Give Support to a Friend Who is Grieving

Supporting a friend who is grieving can be a really difficult thing to do. You see your friend in pain, and want nothing more than to take their pain away. But eventually, we all find, we can't just take away another's pain, and we can't just "fix it" for them. I have known the heartache of seeing my friends in pain, and knowing there was nothing I could "do" to help them through it or make things better for them. The only thing left to do in that situation, is to just be supportive and try to help them through the grieving process.

A close friend's mother recently died. My friend was absolutely devastated! As much as I wanted to take her pain away or make things right for her, I couldn't bring her mother back or stop her hurt. The only things I found I could do (which she later told me helped her more than anything!), was to be there and hold her hand through the tears and the heartache. I listened as she talked of her mother and their lives together, their experiences together, and I listened as she talked about her pain and how much she missed her mother. I was her shoulder to cry on, the person she called when she just needed to talk, the person who sat with her on sleepless nights when the grief was overwhelming her.

Such simple things, and in my mind, it didn't seem I did very much. But she later told me that those simple actions helped more than any amount of condolences or flowers would have, because I simply allowed her to grieve and was right there with her.If you have a friend who is grieving, whether it be a death of a person or a pet, the end of a relationsip, or some other "finality" for them... simply be there to listen. Allow them to grieve at their own pace, and be supportive during the grieving process. Understand that it takes time to go through the grieving process, and that everyone grieves in their own way. My friend chose to reach out and talk to me, and allowed me to be there to help her through it... Other people may shut their friends or family out during the grieving process. Above all, respect your friend's approach to grieving and the method with which they do so, and just make sure that they know you are there for them in whatever capacity they need, should they decide to reach out.

Do not attempt to try to talk your friend out of their grief or try to alter their grieving process in anyway. Grief is perfectly natural, and tears are an emotional release, that, at some point or another, we all need to shed to cleanse our hearts and souls. Have patience with your friend, if it seems that they aren't "getting over it" quickly enough. Just remember that everyone deals with grief differently and at their own pace. Allow your friend to talk about the person, relationship, etc. that they are grieving for. Recounting memories are a part of the grieving process, and it's good when the person grieving is willing to talk about their memories.

The best way to support a friend who is grieving, is to simply be there for them. Sitting beside them, holding their hand, helping wipe away their tears, listening to them, and sometimes just giving them a hug can make a world of difference in helping them get through the grieving process.