How to Go on Vacation Without the Kids

Just because you're a parent now, doesn't mean you don't need (and crave!) some alone time every now and then. And going away alone, with your spouse, or with friends can be a great way to reacquaint yourself with life before kids and all the interests and talents you may have temporarily left behind. A vacation without the kids is something my husband and I try to do at least once a year, even if it's only for an overnight, but it re-energizes us as parents, which is a great thing. However, going on a kid-free vacation can be tough on your little ones, especially if it's your first time. Separation anxiety can strike all kids, some more than others, but there are ways to combat it so that you and your kids have a great time while you're away. These tips for leaving your kids will put you at ease by being prepared to leave and keep your kids calm with the reassurance that you'll return soon.

Pick a Babysitter You and Your Kids Trust
It's one thing to leave your kids with the teenager down the street for a dinner out, but when you go away without your kids, it's important for both of you that you choose a person you can fully trust. Whether it's Grandma or a close friend, you'll be able to relax while away and your kids will feel safe and secure when it's someone staying whom you all know and love. When my husband and I went away on a six-day second honeymoon last year, my parents stayed at our house with our three kids. Since they're close, it was like a vacation for our kids, too, and we didn't have to worry about them missing us or our rules and routines being broken. We were able to relax without stress and truly enjoy the trip we'd planned, which was wonderful.

Write Out All Instructions, Schedules, and Routines in a Daily Format
It's one thing to have a list of emergency phone numbers, but to minimize separation anxiety in your kids, it's important that your caregiver follows the flow of your daily life to avoid major disruptions in routine. Details like what blanket the baby sleeps with and what story your toddler reads before naptime can make the difference between calm and chaos. When we went away, I left a detailed itinerary for each day, including things like foods okay for snack time, school pick-up and drop-off routines, and even what day the trash goes out. This helped in 2 ways: my parents weren't left wondering if what the kids told them was true or them trying to get their way, and the kids were secure in the knowledge that life was going on as normal.

Leave Daily Surprises
When you go on vacation without the kids, it can be hard for them to understand why you're not taking them with you. Kids can feel hurt or rejected, and possibly think that you don't love them as much anymore. Leaving them little surprises to remind them that you love them and are coming back is a great way to stay connected during your kid-free vacation. Picking up small items like coloring books, Matchbox cars, action figures, and travel games and wrapping them for your kids to open each day is fun for them and will give them something new to focus their attention on while you're away. Something like a movie night kit with a new DVD, popcorn, and favorite candy is also fun, giving them a special night when you're gone. Just going to the dollar store for these items is fine; kids just love having something new and novel to play with.

Plan Phone Calls at Appropriate Times
It's great to stay connected to your kids with phone calls when you're away, but the timing of those calls can make a huge difference. Calling right before they have to leave for school or during dinner time can make your caregiver's job harder and rile up the kids instead of calming them down. Pick times in their schedule when they'll be happy to talk without it causing a major disruption, or allow your caregiver to pick the appropriate time to call you when things are running smoothly. The last thing you want is to cause a meltdown by calling just as the kids have been settled. Keep the calls focused on what the kids have been doing, and minimize details about your trip, no matter how much fun you're having. You want them to feel special, loved, and cared for, not jealous that they didn't get to come.

Make the Most of Your Time Away
One of the benefits of going on a kid-free vacation is that you can indulge in adults-only activities, from having a spa day to enjoying a wine-tasting to visiting a museum or attending a concert. Make sure that you plan a few activities into your agenda that you cannot do with your children and that reconnect you with the person you are and not the parent. Re-energizing yourself in this way will bring you back to your kids refreshed, ready once again for all of the potty training, school trips, and the like.

A vacation without the kids is something that every parent should try at least once. Though it may be hard to witness separation anxiety in your kids at first, the break and relaxation a kid-free vacation provides is worth the extra effort. By planning ahead and following the above tips for leaving your kids, you'll be able to get the most from your getaway and be a more refreshed parent when you return.