How God Can Help You Shed the Negative and Enjoy the Fruit of Your Life

Have you ever seen a Clementine tangerine? Have you tasted one? Clementine tangerines are small, juicy orange fruits that hail from the far off coast of Spain. Juicy little bits of citrus goodness.

I love how God can take something simple and reveal a life lesson. And He did just that one day after I purchased a box of those little orange gems, showing me three simple truths about how He relates to us and how we can respond to Him.

1. Picked. On purpose and for a purpose.

As I held a Clementine in my hand, turning it this way and that, admiring its shading and hue, I thought to myself, "You know, this Clementine was made for a purpose. And in order for it to get into my hands, it had to be picked." Someone, or something, plucked it off a tree in Spain. It was chosen, so to speak, for a greater purpose than remaining on its branch. Why grow them just to look at them hanging on the tree? That just seems silly - they were grown for a purpose and they are picked specifically to do what they were created to do.

Chosen. Then enjoyed! Savored. Consumed.

Likewise, we have been made for a purpose. In his book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren states:

You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He was not surprised by your birth. In fact, he expected it...You are alive because God wanted to create you!

In Psalms, it says "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me." (Psalm 138:8, NIV) You know, I have no problem believing that little fruit was grown on purpose for a purpose. But I often struggle with who I am, why I am here.

The fact is, God not only chose to make me (to make you!), He chose me, and you, to be His. Just like those Clementines I purchased were picked to be enjoyed and savored, God picked us for His pleasure.

Ephesians 1:5 (The Message) says, "Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!)".

Perhaps you have experienced an "unplanned" pregnancy. When our daughter was nine months old, I discovered that my cycle was running a bit behind. I was still nursing our daughter, so birth control was creative at best, but we were being careful. I broke the news to my husband, and he replied, quite matter-of-factly, "I know. You're pregnant. I prayed for a son."

"Hello!?" I thought. "Why didn't you tell me about this little prayer?"

We now joke that our first son is our "planned accident". We knew we wanted more children, but the timing was the "surprise", at least on my end of the deal! But despite the shock factor, the knowledge that a new life was growing inside of me brought joy, hope, and pleasure.

It is one thing to give birth to your own child, but think about those parents who have adopted a child. A person whom they did not bear, who is not genetically linked to them, and yet they choose to take that child in and love him or her as their own. That child becomes theirs. Chosen! Picked. Loved.

That is what God does. He picks us. He adopts us into His family. And then He loves us beyond measure.

I need to grab a hold of this! God did not need to create me, but He chose to create me because he wanted a relationship with me!

But what's the catch?

2. Peel. There is something covering up that fruit.

Those little Clementines have been picked, and they have a purpose - they are fruit ripe for the taking (and eating). So, how do I get to that delectable fruit?

When the time of year arrives for those tricky little vows one refers to as "New Year's resolutions", I rarely, if ever, make any official ones. I sort of feel that they are made just to be broken. But when the year is new, it does give one pause to think about the things we would like to do differently, goals we might like to set, and things we would like to replace or get rid of.

Shedding weight, dropping bad habits, getting rid of clutter, off-loading debt...all of these are a casting off, a peeling if you will. And looking at that little Clementine again, I realize that in order to get to the good stuff - the fruit - I have to peel it.

Have you ever taken a bite of an orange with the peel on? Or caught a child trying to do the same?

Eww!

I have to get the peel off so I can get to that yummy fruit.

We all have peels too, just like our sweet little orange fruit. For some, it is just a layer - perhaps two - and not too difficult to push a nail under and begin to strip away. For others, it is tough and deep. But in order for the "good stuff" - the fruit of our life - to be exposed and available and ready to use, we have to begin peeling away this skin, which could consist of a variety of things.

How about bitterness and negativity? Have you ever been around someone who is chronically negative? It saps your energy!

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired" (The Message). Proverbs 15:13a and 15b (NLT) state, "A glad heart makes a happy face...for the happy heart, life is a continual feast."

If your family is anything like mine, any get-together is going to involve food. We eat it, we talk about it, we eat some more. It is a feast! Who wants to go to a party if some goodies are not going to be served, right? I want my life to be a continual feast. Having a case of the perpetual gloomies means I am going to be stuck at my own private pity party (and not a goody in sight!) in short order.

Hmmm....it's not a lot of fun, this poking about the skin I am in. I find myself resisting a bit. I soon realize that I have hit another layer, and it is called pride.

Proverbs 16:18 says, "First pride, then the crash - the bigger the ego, the harder the fall."

You know what? We can humble ourselves, or we can be humbled. The former is a lot less painful than the latter, isn't it?

For years I didn't think I struggled with pride. After all, I had low self-esteem. But guess what? Low self-esteem does not necessarily mean that pride is not an issue. Pride is self-absorption, right? And guess what? Low self-esteem is nothing more than self-absorption in how miserable one is.

Ouch.

Let's dig a little deeper. What else is hiding in there; what else needs to be peeled away? I hear that familiar voice...

You'll never be good enough.

Do you really think God has forgiven you for that?

Guilt. There are two kinds: conviction and condemnation.

Conviction is God's business. It is that tug from our conscience. That pull that says we need to say we are sorry, that we need Someone bigger than we are to fill the gaps, Someone to be in a personal relationship with.

Then the Warden opens the locked door, setting us free, but we choose to stay in the cell - door wide open - anyway. We sit, defeated, shame our cloak.

Condemnation.

Hey, wait a minute. I am free! You are free!

It is time to start living like I know that. Really know that. Not just in my head. In my heart.

The prison door is open. The question is: when will I walk on through?

Is there anything else lurking about? My face burns a bit, as I come face to face with...

Unforgiveness.

The need to forgive is an entire topic alone, one I have wrote about and wrestled with more often than I care to admit. But let's consider a few things:

- It hurts!

What that person did to you was ugly and mean and unfair - and it deserves to be punished - but it is God's prerogative to mete out justice in His perfect way.

Lewis Smedes states, "Let God handle those you would like to manhandle in your hate. If they need teaching, let God teach them. If they need rescuing from their own stupidity, let God rescue them. If they need saving from their own crazy wickedness, let God save them. What you need is healing from the infection of malice left over from the open wounds they left in your life."

- Forgiveness means giving up my right to revenge.

My refusal to forgive is actually a subtle form of control. "But you don't understand what they did to me!" Perhaps I don't. But I do know what unforgiveness does. It breeds bitterness. It steals joy. It is cunning and insidious.

I know because I once let it grow and flourish in my own life and it almost destroyed my family.

It nearly destroyed me.

Give up your right to revenge; the price of holding on to it is too high.

- Forgiveness is for me, the offended.

It frees me. As the offended, I do need to properly grieve (anger and resentment are natural reactions to deliberate wrongdoing), but then I must, must, must forgive and release the hurt and pain.

As I contemplate these things, this thought occurs: how thick is my skin? Is it easy to peel, like a banana? Sure, there is skin there, but it is easily cast aside to get to the good stuff.

Is it like that Clementine or an orange...a bit tougher? Our eldest son loves Clementines, but since he bites his nails, he can never get the skin off. "Mom, can you get this started," he will say, handing me that little tangerine with a crooked grin. So, I dig in a fingernail and with a bit of effort, the skin begins to peel.

A little tougher, yes, but that skin is coming off.

Or are you like a pineapple? It is going to take a knife to pierce that prickly and tough outer layer. And some of the fruit on the inside is going to come off right along with it.

As I ponder my peel - the skin I am in - I realize that like my darling Clementine, I can not do this on my own. Fruit needs someone to peel it.

Just like I need to be in God's hand to begin peeling away the layers.

As a parent, I have realized that my children are watching me. They model my attitudes and behavior. It is how they learn.

When I was nursing our second child, our daughter was just under two. I learned to be quite adept at nursing and doing other things, such as making lunch or answering the phone, as that boy not only nursed every one-and-a-half to two hours, he was a very slow nurser.

One day I noticed our daughter walking about with a baby doll, holding her against her chest, a toy phone held to her ear with her shoulder, as she muttered, "Uh huh, uh huh." I got a giggle out of that one.

What was she doing? She was mimicking me. She had been watching. Even at just-under-two, she was paying close attention to what her mom was doing and saying.

Others are watching too. And listening. Do they see me working at peeling away the layers that are keeping me from getting to the fruit in my life?

My heavenly Father is waiting. "I can help you get out of that skin," He assures me, time and time again.

3. Pared. Finally getting to the really good stuff!

As I peel the skin of that Clementine away, what do I find?

Fruit. Sweet, juicy fruit. Mmm. The good stuff.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

That is quite a list, isn't it? Fruit attributes. I can even add a few more, opposites of those things I need to pare away:

Paring away bitterness and finding delight.

Paring away pride and finding humility.

Paring away guilt and finding forgiveness.

Paring away unforgiveness and finding mercy.

Who wouldn't want to have these attributes?

When our son was in the second grade, his class put on a "Mother's Day Tea". They sang for us, served us cookies and punch, and did all those cute things that kids do to make their moms cry at such events.

They had also spent several weeks making crafts for us. One was an acrostic using the word mother. As I read mine, I felt my chest puffing with pride. "Wow, my boy thinks I'm Magnificent! Outstanding! Tremendous!" The list went on.

Then I got to the final letter. R. Fully expecting a word such as resplendent, reliable, or radiant, I was chagrined to read...

Ruthless.

Ruthless? Ruthless!?

When I asked him about it, he said, "You mean that's not a good thing?"

My husband and I got quite the laugh out of that one. I was relieved that he didn't really think his mom was ruthless (though my younger sisters might try to say that is true; I am the eldest, after all).

And while that is funny, what if he really did think that? If he did a "Mother" acrostic today, some five years later, what words would he choose to describe me?

My sincerest hope is that they would be "fruit attributes" and not my prickly peel.

Which takes me back to my darling Clementine. If I leave the skin on, never paring it away, what will happen?

One word: yuck.

I once found out exactly what happens when one leaves a piece of citrus fruit unattended for an undetermined amount of time.

While visiting family one December, our boys were given goodie sacks at my mother's church. Inside were various stocking stuffers, including an orange. Fast forward several days and nights to bedtime at our humble abode. The boys' room, which they claimed to have cleaned, was slightly less than chaotic at best. I started moving some stuff off the floor, chastising them a bit, and in the process grabbed the youngest's goodie sack.

"How did this get wet?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew the answer. I peered into the bag, and...

Yuck!

The orange was still in there, peel and all. Only now it wasn't a pretty orange color. Oh, no, it was white and green and fuzzy. And it had infected everything within its reach. The toys still in the bag, the apple, the bag itself. Even the floor brandished a wet spot.

I realized, again, that like the fruit of that orange, to be any good to anyone, I simply cannot remain in my peel. The price for me is much higher than a homemade sack, some pencils, and another piece of fruit.

And it is not what my Creator intended it all.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Picked. On purpose and for a purpose.

Peel. There is something covering up that fruit. What am I going to do about it? Or better yet, will I let God help me do something about it?

Pared. With God's help, I can get to the good stuff! And guess what? So can you.