How to Have Good Conversations with Your Child

To keep flat, boring conversations with your child from happening in your family, people who work with kids have lots of advice. It's worth heeding because studies have shown that having parents involved in a student's life is the No. 1 way to improve student achievement.

You are more likely to get a response from your child when you ask a question that is specific but also open-ended, experts say.

Some good examples:

Tell me one thing you learned today.

What did you make in art class?

Whom did you play with?

What was something that challenged you?

Experts suggests trying to bring out the positive things that happen - by asking whether the child was a good helper or whether a new friend was made.

That doesn't mean you ignore problems. But if you can surround a problem with positive things, the problem doesn't seem as bad.

With younger children, you can check their backpacks for clues of what they did in school. Use worksheets, drawings and notes from the teacher to start a conversation.

Also experts say ask your child's teacher lesson plan for the coming week. That way your can questions can be more specific.

Look for times when your child is responsive to talking. It might be while you are driving to soccer practice, cooking dinner or right before bedtime. Dinner can be a good time for the whole family to share what happened in their day.

Like many parents who are exhausted at the end of a day's work, kids may be worn out when they come home from school. If you bombard them with questions then, they may clam up.

It's important not to come across as an interrogator to your child.

When you ask to see your child's homework, don't act like your only concern is the grade. Show that you are interested in what the child is learning, he said.

Taylor points out that the conversation should be two-way. A parent should talk about their day and some challenges they are facing. Otherwise, the child may feel that he or she is being pumped for information and is the only one who is giving.

It can be a fine line between letting the teen have some independence and still showing you care. Back off a little bit - but not back out. Continue to show some interest by inquiring.

Don't limit your questions to academics. For many kids, their biggest concerns are about their social life.

Kids generally like it when their parents are interested in their friends.

But watch your attitude when talking about your teen's peers or about teens in general. If you make comments that slam them, that closes off communication.

Another thing that turns off kids is when they want to talk, but their parents are too busy.

And be careful not to dismiss your child when he tells you what's on his mind. If a child tells you he feels dumb, for example, don't say, Oh, no, you're not.

Really listen to what he/she tells you and try to find out why he feels that way.

Beyond asking questions, it's important for parents to model behaviors.

Children should see their parents read, write and use other skills that are learned in school. Parents should take their children shopping and show them how they make purchasing decisions.

Children also learn from how their parents feel about school, the teacher, and other children in school.

It's important that the support is there. I believe strongly in parent involvement. The parents are the child's first teacher. Bridging school and home is crucial.

Most teachers welcome parents who want to be involved in their child's development.