How to Be a Good Dinner Guest

Everyone loves to receive a dinner party invitation, but as a guest it is important to follow certain dos and don'ts to ensure you will be invited back again.

Last night my friend, Shiloah Baker, hosted a dinner party for my family. She is an incredible hostess, just as you would expect someone who hosts a nationally acclaimed homemaking website.

Every dish was made from scratch, and the food was better than any restaurant I know. I also couldn't help but notice that her home was immaculate, despite having 7 children. Clearly she had spent the entire day cooking and preparing for our arrival.

And, this is the essence of my article: A dinner party is a gift we give our friends. Shopping, cooking, cleaning the house - before AND after the event; a dinner party is truly a full day's work, especially if children are involved.

As a dinner party guest, both in gratitude and out of respect for our host and hostess, it is important to follow certain rules:

9 Rules for Dinner Party Guests
1. Upon receiving the invitation, ask if there is anything you can bring. Very often a hostess will say, "No, just bring yourself." Sometimes a hostess will say this only to be polite, others because nothing comes immediately to mind. If a hostess declines your initial offer, make a specific offer. For example, offer to bring dessert, or drinks, or a salad (or other side dish that will compliment the meal and travel easily.)

2. If your hostess does not ask you to bring anything to contribute to the dinner, it is good manners to bring a hostess gift. A bottle of wine or pack of imported beers is a great choice. (Unsure whether your host drinks? Stay away from this option! Finding out your host is a recovering alcoholic or a non-drinker for religious reasons while handing them a bottle of wine makes for an awkward moment.) Sparkling Cider can be a nice substitution for a host who does not drink alcohol.

Another great hostess gift option is flowers, but please try to bring them already arranged in a container - that way your hostess will not be forced to stop what she is doing to search for a vase and arrange the flowers during the dinner party. A third option that is gaining in popularity is a scented candle.

3. Do not arrive early or late. A 10 minute window either direction is acceptable. Under no circumstances should you arrive more than 15 minutes late.

4. When you arrive - particularly if you arrive early - offer to help your host with any last minute preparations. If they decline the offer, please take care not to impede their final touches - sit off to the side if possible, so that you will not be in their way. An even better option: entertain the host's children during this time. The children will love you for it, and the host will be eternally grateful!

5. Brief your children before arrival. Depending on their age: remind them of proper table manners, to use indoor voices, and the importance of saying please & thank you. Also please remind them to help clean up any messes they make.

6. Take responsibility for your children during the party. After spending an entire day cooking and cleaning, it is not fair to ask the host to serve your children, get them drinks, take them to the restroom, etc. Watch that your children do not touch any breakables or -- depending on their age-- get onto the host's computer. Ensure that they do not run wild, and insist that they help clean up any messes they make. If your children are too young to clean themselves, you should clean up their messes before you leave.
7. Be sure to compliment your host. They went to a lot of work in your honor. Acknowledge that work and thank them for a lovely meal.

8. Do not overstay your welcome. This is perhaps the most important rule of all.... If you host is yawning - it is time to leave!

9. Don't forget to say thanks. A day or so later, please remember to drop a line to your hostess with a quick and heartfelt thank-you for their hospitality.

Following these basic rules will help make the dinner party enjoyable for your host as well as yourself. Plus, they go a long way toward making sure you get an invitation to come back!