How to Get Good Housework Out of Your Kids

Multiple children can result in a messy house quick. Some days, just picking up will sap all of my energy, and leave nothing over for deep cleaning. But after 10 years and 4 kids, my husband and I devised a system that actually works! (What can I say, we're slow learners.) Really, though, we have tried so many things over the years, none just seemed to work.

The whole concept of "pick up what you get out" just never sank in with my kids...or my husband for that matter. We tried assigned chores, we tried allowance, we tried sign up sheets, award charts...you name it, and we tried it. Yet, no matter what we tried, for some reason it always came down to, "Today, we clean!" and we all worked together. But even that, is problematic.

One long day to clean generally meant that the house stayed messy until Saturday - everyone's day off. Worse, the older kids got, the more one wouldn't be around to participate due to obligation, which always harbors resentment among siblings. In the meantime, there I was...picking up all the time to keep from tripping over toys, or having a place to sit on the couch.

This year, we instituted "zones." I can honestly say this has totally worked for us! We divided the common rooms of the house into zones. Then we assigned each child an appropriate zone for their age. My oldest, God love him, got the kitchen - it's harder and he is faster. My youngest has the "steps" zone. That's right, anything on the steps she has to carry upstairs. (Like so many people, there is always that one place in the house that seems to be an unspoken collection point for "stuff." Ours is the steps.) And the other rooms are also divided. In addition, everyone's room is their own zone, too. Here is why this works.

One reason this works is that you don't find yourself standing in the living room shouting out things like, "John, come get your shoes. Caroline, grab your backpack and take it to your room...and who got out every marker in the house?" (To which you hear, "It wasn't me!") No more of that. Now you have no arguments with anyone. You are the drill sergeant no longer. Now, there is only one child to manage, per area. With this strategy you say, "Caroline, your zone needs to be cleaned NOW." And she is responsible for everything in that room - on call.

The second reason this works is because children start to hold each other accountable. If one leaves a mess in another's zone, I will hear the zone keeper say, "Don't leave that there." Or "You better pick that up when you are finished." It helps that I am not always the one saying it. And when I am not there, they are sure to still say it, because they don't want to clean up after each other any more than I want to clean up after them.

Third, I have noticed after a few weeks of "stop what you are doing and come clean your zone." They are doing it more proactively. They pick up after their own self in that area, because they are sure to have to clean it up later. My son will clean the kitchen before he starts playing because he doesn't want me to call him in, or interrupting his video game to do his zone.

A friend of mine questioned, "How do you get them to do it?" Great question. First, if the child doesn't do it when I ask, they won't be doing anything else until they change your mind. Second, no one goes to bed until their zone is complete. If attitudes are bad or cooperation is low, we start taking away privileges like late bedtime, their phone or video games. My husband's favorite is to add a bonus chore for bad attitude. That usually works because kids usually do not want to do more than what is required when it comes to cleaning. And remember you are the parent.

Parents can forget that they are in charge. Kids should not dictate what happens in my house, or the world I brought them into. I love my kids and respect them a great deal, but if I can't get them to respect me, I am not doing them any favors in life. Giving your kids household responsibilities teaches your kids so many things: how to clean, how to work, how to work as a team, how to not take you for granted, how to respect the things you work for, and accomplishment. But most important it is an unspoken need of all people to be needed.

Being necessary to a house is like being loved! Every person that lives in these walls, I need! This can translate to self esteem and builds the character of my children. I choose to work along side my kids and praise good effort or results. But, I also choose to teach them, and have expectations. If I don't...who will? Kids need to feel needed and by me requiring a little help, I am translating that. Besides, if I am expected to be wonder woman, can I not expect to have wonder kids? Yes, I will do my part and more because I am mom, but our family is a team. Each one is needed for success (or at the very least, a clean house!)